Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Uninspired Tuesday

There is nothing in the news today that I am able to draw any inspiration from. So now we know who Deep Throat is. Watergate..... yawn......that's fresh. Chalk it up to my heteronormative world view but I was a little surprised to learn that Deep Throat is a man. What does that tell us about Bob......Wood........duh............ward? Bob Wood......duh.......ward will nei......ther con...firm nor de.....ny this stor......yyyyy.

Paris is engaged to Paris. Big hotel heir merges with big shipping heir. Who cares. Am I supposed to make jokes about how she might be able to remember his name? I hope he has a friend who is a big pharmaceutical heir.

I finally figured something out today. Sometimes I will be checking out at the grocery store, standing there with my gallon of milk, hot link sausages and baby spinach salad (but not with the breakfast cereal that I friggin' forgot); minding my own business, not listening to the two heavily pierced and tattooed lesbians behind me complain about how everyone got drunk at the gay bar last night, and how it was totally lame because the music was lousy, and then sometimes I won't hear them remark how hot Jessica Simpson looks in a bikini because I won't be eavesdropping. So, as I stand there waiting for the guy in front of me to finish purchasing his loaf of white bread and Miller Lite tall boys I certainly will not be thinking about how superficial these lesbians are because when I looked at the magazine cover of Jessica Simpson in a bikini, the only thing that occurred to me was what a dumb expression she had on her face.

Still with me? I haven't gotten to what I figured out yet. Okay, so I complete my business transaction and as I put my debit card away the checker woman asks me if I "need help out with that?". Why would a strapping young lad like myself need help out with a gallon of milk, package of sausages and a bag of salad? This has happened often enough that I decided to give it some thought. After extensive giving of thought, I can only come to one logical conclusion. These grocery checker girls are so totally trying to pick me up. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out, but hey, I don't begrudge anyone their dreams.

So since I am uninspired today, I am not going to write anything. Check back often though, twice an hour just to be sure you don't miss anything. Go visit KJ over at the Cheese, he seems to have been inspired over the weekend. Good stuff, yeah, good stuff.

Blogroll update:

I did remember the other site I meant to add to my blogroll but then forgot when I was adding sites to my blogroll, Topic Drift. Check it out, Esther has it going on. I also added The Poison Apple Tree, Pookie's site that I mentioned on Friday. I think I added something else, but I forget now.

Pile out.

Update on the Blogroll Update:

I remembered the other site I added to the blogroll, Pile On in Aught Ocho. I have said that what the peoples wants the peoples gets, so if they manage to raise enough money and put together a first rate organization I will have no choice but to serve my country. So having the site on the blogroll will make it easier for all of us to keep tabs on them.

Pile out, again.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Freedom Is Not Free



The Ebb & Flow Institute salutes all those, past and present, who pay the price of freedom.



Salute.








-

Friday, May 27, 2005

Friday Vespers

Hello and welcome to another installment of Friday Vespers here at The Ebb & Flow Institute.


Let the official bartenders of the Institute serve up a cold one for you here.

Now, that you have a beer I have some business I feel I should address; in the straight forward honest manner that you all have come to expect from me.

I have not decided whether I am going to run for President or not. I don't want the job, and I don't want the bullshit that goes with running for the office. But if there is a ground swell of popular support, I will take a hard look at it. The peoples wants, the peoples gets. You own the country, you're the owners of the country.

Now, let's clean out the Piles Files folder.

Ace asks if we can Question Newsweek's patriotism now. Ace is so nuanced, but I think he is getting at yes, yes we can. Do I think Newsweek cares if anyone questions their patriotism? No.

************************************************************************************

I don't get this, and yet I find it strangely amusing. Bai Ling looks like a very talented young lady. Via Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities.

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The Northeast has the dumbest drivers. I am shocked.....SHOCKED!!

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Normally jokes don't work in a blog format, but this is damn funny.

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Some of you may remember Pooke from back in the day. Pooke has a blog. Who knew?

Go say hello and tell them Pile sent you and receive a free complementary gift.

Memo to Bloggers Who Disagree With Me on Anything

Please refrain from your narrow minded, knee-jerk, predictable, partisan, deviant, divisive, lacking in imagination, senseless, thoughtless, floundering in the shallow end of the think pool ranting.

It is shameful, and in some cases beneath contempt.

Thank you.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Senatorial Sophistry

Have you been wondering what happened in the private meeting between John Bolton and George Voinovich that would make a grown Senator come to tears on the floor of the Senate when "deliberating" over a nomination for UN ambassador?

**must listen here**


EFI exclusive, transcript of private meeting.

Voinovich:

Mr. Bolton, thank you for coming by my office, I am terribly sorry I didn't have time to attend any of your confirmation hearings.

Bolton:

That is quite alright Senator, I am sure you had some very important things to attend to.

Voinovich:

Yes, yes I did, but it has come to my attention that your nomination is quite important to me.

Bolton:

Well then, what would you like to know?

Voinovich:

What would I like to know? Rather presumptuous of you don't you think. I am a Senator, I know a great deal, I want to ascertain what you know.

Bolton:

I meant no disrespect Senator, please ask me anything you like.

Voinovich:

What are your thoughts on positive creativeness and it's effects on peacebuilding?

Bolton:

Well, I have some thoughts on the best way to promote peace and freedom and our approach to the UN to achieve those ideals, but.....

Voinovich:

Oh come now, surely you know what I am talking about? Positive creativeness is the fundamental quality of the human spirit. At the UN are you going to embrace those who have surmounted personal difficulties... make friends with them? We have got to make friends with these people at the UN Mr. Bolton!! [pounding fist into desk] We must propel their spirits to the task of Peace-building, thus ensuring a radiant future Mr. Bolton!!"

Bolton:

Well...I....

Voinovich:

Mr. Bolton, are you even aware of the international non-competitive achievement awards program called the Cultural Awards Program of Imagine! Inc., a cooperative project with Pathways to Peace?

Bolton:

No sir, but I can look into it and report back to you.

Voinovich:

Yes, yes, I think you should do that. It has become quite important to me. There are numerous wonderful things being done in cooperation with the UN, that you might want to look into. This is important to me Mr. Bolton. You know what else is important to me? My grandchildren. Do you care about my grandchildren Mr. Bolton?

Bolton:

I don't know your grandchildren Senator, but I am sure you have a wonderful family.

Voinovich:

You don't even know them? I think I have heard all I need to. Good day Mr. Bolton.


Voinovich mp3, courtesy of Radio Blogger. A big EFI salute. Go check out the site.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

First it Was the Draft Olympia Snowe Site

And then some anonymous person sent me a link to this totally whacked site.

It seems someone has been up to this for a while now.

I am flattered.

I am humbled.

Color me the reluctant statesman.

If You Have Not Read This Post Yet....

Go.

Go now.

It's not easy being a maverick Mr. Whiskers.

Gardening Tips From The Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals



Court's Ruling Reveals Bitchin' Footnote

New York LawyerMay 25, 2005
By Warren LutzThe Recorder

No doubt the legal community was shocked -- shocked! -- to learn a "snitch bitch hoe" is not a garden tool with loose lips, as a federal appeals court recently took pains to explain.

The phrase appeared in a May 4 opinion by the Seventh Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals in the case United States v. Murphy, 04-2032.* Darron Murphy Sr. was appealing his conviction for tampering with a witness, Pamela Hayden, whom he said testified against Murphy's son in a separate case.

Cue footnote: "The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch 'hoe.' A 'hoe,' of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. … We have taken the liberty of changing 'hoe' to 'ho,' a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps, 'You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies.'"

Attorneys from Pennsylvania to Silicon Valley are having fun with what is roundly estimated to be the work of a law clerk who, presumably, was feelin' Ludacris on this one.

On May 16, there were 367 Yahoo hits for "snitch bitch hoe." On May 18, there were 424.
On his blog, LearningToLoveTheLaw, "PhiladelphiaLawyer" reported the Seventh Circuit's Web site may have crashed by "being constantly pinged by thousands, if not tens of thousands, of bored lawyers" checking to see if the footnote was real.

On The American Prospect staffer Matthew Yglesias' blog, a comment from someone posting as "rea" begged for perspective:
"Wouldn't it be a bitch, though, to be in prison on a 20-year sentence, and to discover that the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals thinks your case is funny?"

***
* See, Footnote 1.

Hat tip, Portia.
***

Pile On's Career Option

As the regular readers know, the John Locke Chair of the Ebb & Flow Institute, Pile On, is preparing for a career change. He will become a teacher. As Mr. On is now a Texan, I would suggest that he apply for a position at Memorial High School.

As this news story would suggest, Pile On would have a great career there. Just don't become this guy.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I Needed a Good Laugh

And I found it here.

Obligatory Filibuster Agreement Post

There are a few Republicans that think the agreement struck by McCain and Byrd et al. is a good thing because someday the Republicans may be in the minority again and it would be nice to have this power to block a liberal activist judge.

That seems an odd position, considering the Republicans never used this power when they were in the minority before.

Oh, and just so you know, if one day the Republicans do filibuster a Democrat nominee, the Democrats will change the rules faster than you can change the plastic sheets on your nigh nigh bed.

Monday, May 23, 2005

China and Japan Suffer Severe Strain of the Bilateral Relation

First there is this.

TOKYO (AP) - China abruptly canceled a meeting Monday between China's vice premier and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, cutting short a visit aimed at repairing severely strained relations.

China's Foreign Ministry said Vice Premier Wu Yi had to return to Beijing for urgent but unspecified matters at home. Japanese officials said they had no further details and expected a full explanation.

And then they go and do this.


The Chinese government has banned restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women. The practice was condemned as a violation of common decency by the commerce department.

In April 2004, Chinese media said that a Japanese restaurant in south-west China was fined 2,000 yuan ($240; £130) after it offered to serve "body sushi".

The practice of eating sushi off naked or nearly-naked women has long been popular with a certain clientele in Japan. But the authorities in the Chinese city of Kunming criticised it at the time of the fine as both unhygienic and an infringement of women's rights.

The Beijing Times newspaper said the new ban was introduced because serving food on women "insults people's moral quality".

Here at the Institute we are well aware that women are more than just serving platters, but we are also open minded and tolerant of other cultures and traditions. Clearly eating sushi in this traditional manner is an important part of Japanese culture. I think what is needed here is dialogue between the two countries, to seek understanding and promote conditions that are conducive to sustainable and peaceful coexistence in Asia.

In the interest of peace, the Chinese need to scrutinize how they view the Japanese and identify stereotypes and preconceptions. They must examine the process of labeling and understand why they feel the urge to label.

Once they understand the consequences of intolerance they can move beyond their limited perspective. A good meal is a great place to start.

Filibuster Compromise

The Ebb & Flow Institute offers a compromise to end the confrontation in the Senate over the filibuster of judicial nominees.

We are in support of keeping the filibuster as a tool for senators to slow down and stymie legislative action. We feel there are times when this can and should be done in the interest of the American taxpayer.

Therefore we find it apropos to propose the following proposal. Eliminate the filibuster of judicial nominees, but change the rules so that it can now be used where budget resolution are concerned.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Festival of the Linkage

I don't have time to post much today, so I thought I would point you in the direction of some great stuff you might not have seen.

This is well written and poignant. This might be the funniest post I have read in what seems like ages. This and this are both good reads. Finally, if you do nothing else the rest of your life, read this.

Now, after checking all those other sites out, make sure ya'll come on back here. In fact, just make The Ebb & Flow Institute your home page.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Sorry No Vespers Today

I had to travel to Dallas on business today.

In the airport I saw a man that had pants very much like these on.

It was a first for me.

I don't think (pray to God) this will catch on.

Oh....., and to that guy, who raced past my female coworker pulling his little suitcase on wheels, exactly at the time she tripped over her own slacks (she should look into capri pants), I am sorry I jumped your shit.

You have to admit, that is quite a coincidence.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Smart Things Considered--A Transcript


**I’m Going Up the Country by Canned Heat fades out as Pile sings along**

Pile:

I’m going to the country, something something something.

Hello and Welcome everyone to another broadcast of Smart Things Considered, the radio show that has and will continue to consider all things smart. Today’s show is brought to you by generous donations from listeners like you and by a grant from The Patriot Act.

Sexy female vo:

The Patriot Act……protecting our libraries……from terrorists……libraries……terrorists……protecting……since 2001.

Pile:

On the show today we have Iraqwarwrong, the author of the blog Iraq War Was Wrong Blog, the blog that sets the standard for erudite dissent of the Iraq War.

But first we have some business to tend to. I am sure many of you are wondering where John from Wuzzadem is today. Well, not to worry, he is still an important part of the show; we are just working through what format works best for the show. In the first show it seemed like I was putting words in his mouth and then in the second it was almost as if he was putting words in mine.

All right let's get to our interview; Eric, is our guest on the line?

Eric from Vince Aut Morire:

Yes he is Mr. On.

Pile:

Please Eric, call me Pile. Iraqwarwrong, on behalf of the staff and management of Smart Things Considered I would like to thank you for agreeing to be on the show.

IWW:

Your welcome and glad to be here(metaphorically).

Pile:

You know, when I first saw your blog title I thought it was self-titled, but it isn’t. I mean it has a "was" in it, where your name doesn’t. Then I thought it was short for Iraq War Wrong, you know like when I was a kid and they called me Piley, short for Pile?

IWW:

You're right there's no was in iraqwarwrong and no myblog is not self-titled. It's just a simple littleblog about how The Iraq War was wrong. As you(hopefully?) know, The Iraq War was wrong, and well,mine's is a Blog about that.

Ergo, it's an Iraq WarWas Wrong *blog*. (Some people get tripped up here) There's other stuff I get into (and periodically I dotake it down a notch - it can't all be all Iraq Warall the time) but thats the main of it.

Pile:

Just so there is no confusion in the minds of our listeners, let’s clarify. Is it a blog about how the Iraq war was wrong, meaning right war wrong country? If we had started the Iraq war in another country it could have been right, or at least not wrong?

Or is it that the Iraq war was wrong, meaning it could be the right war another time, just not at the time that the Iraq war was?


IWW:

I'm not sure the jist of your question(s) but offhandI'd have to say all of the above(and yet nonesomehow). Or . Look all I mean is this. My blog canbe all thing's to some different people (Big Tent).

As long as they say know The Iraq War was wrong it'sall good. Alot of what you seem to be talking aboutis semantics(confusing). But there are bigger issuesto fry so I mean let's not get bog down.

Um LOL I just noticed something rediculous you said: You can't start an Iraq War in another country. That's a Category Error.

Pile:

Now who is getting bogged down with semantics? I mean the Battle of Waterloo wasn’t fought in Iowa now was it? Anyway, tell us why you started your blog?

IWW:

Some longtime reader's may have perceived that there'ssort of an alterior motive/subtext running underneathmuch of the blog and well, in admittance that iscorrect. I make no real secret of it but I may aswell explain that EVENTUALLY my ambition's/goal is tobe a bonaphide Pundit (praferably Wash. D.C.) so I canhelp set thing's straight in this country.

So, theblog serves the duel purpose of - (1) showing/sayingthat how The Iraq War was wrong, and (2)practice/honing my writing skills and establishing mybonaphides/writing abilities for future employers(internships?). In other words there's no better waythen to dive in with two feet and just get my handsdirty with experience and well, that's my blog.

Pile:

So why did you choose a blog as way to hone your pundit bonafides as opposed to say talk radio or Journalism school?

IWW:

Well, at the time I was mostly on AOL groups and IRC chat (alsoUnreal tournement/Quake communities ect) and whathappened was that as we I always discussed-bouncedaround political/current event's matters, someone (oneof those places) told me about or pointed me to these``blog`` things and said I should check them out/gothere instead/ I might like. So, I did.

Much to my shock (and chagrin) I found theblogsphere to be (almost) nothing but a bunch ofdhingers!

Pile:

For our listeners that don’t know, what is a dhinger?

IWW:

You don't know dhinger? I don't get it. Why dopeople have such problems with this. Dhinger. Youknow? Rightwing, dingbat, right-wing dingbat,wing-ding, winger-dinger, whinger-dhinger.... DHINGER. What's not to get. Do u want me to have to say thelonger versions all the time. Talk about pedantic. If listeners (lazy?) would just go to my blog they'dsee that I define ALL relevent term's like that(somewhere - check links on RHS right hand sidebar).

Or they could just Google it (right now I get 318 fordhingers, 588 for dhinger - and growing). It's notlike its not out there. Just because I'm an earlyadopter its no reason to gripe.

Pile:

Oh, I don’t mean to gripe, I just don’t want any confusion in my audience regarding any Anti-War jargon. Please continue to tell us about your decision to go into blogging.

IWW:

All it was was (seems to me) was a bunch of guys who was saying how The Iraq War was right yadda yadda all the time all day long 24/7. I couldn'tbelieve it. (I mean just try to imagine how you would of felt, discovering this echoe chamber of dhingers all at once)

Even the few islands/oasis of sanity that I found(Matthew Yglesias/Oliver Willis/Kos etc). From what Igleaned of they're blogs, They did *some* stuff on TheIraq War's wrongness (tipically no more than 50-75% ofthe posts, let's say) but, It all just left me so unsatisied.

Where was the REAL discussion of thewar's wrongness. Where was the person to Dissent and just flat out say "This war was wrong" and not let up.
(No quarter).

So that's where I came in. Basically (ironic to say)but just like the dhinger's SHOULD(if not hipocrisy) welcome/celebrate, I saw a market need (Niche) and Ifilled it. Simple as that.

Pile:

Okay, we have a little time left, let’s take a call from a listener.......Fred in Peoria you are on Smart Things Considered.

Fred in Peoria:

Thanks Pile, long time listener first time caller.

Pile:

Thanks Fred, do you have a question for our guest?

Fred in Peoria:

Yes, I would like to know if Iraqwarwrong likes pudding?

IWW:

It depends what kind. Chocolate-yes. Banana-no. Fred you can't just throw these broad questions at mewith no context/specificiaty. Where I go for lunch sometimes(weekends/near Walmart)they have tapioca and that's pretty good too if it'snot nasty/messed up. It just really depends. (Sorry - getting alittleflustered here, can we move on to the next questionpls).

Pile:

Well, the music is telling me that is all we have time for on this week's Smart Things Considered. I would like to thank our guest Iraqwarwrong, checkout his(?) blog at http://iraqwarwrong.blogspot.com/. Until next week, this is Pile On saying, if it's smart, we've considered it.

Movie Hype

I made it a special point last night to not go and see the new Star Wars movie.

I saw the original movie back in the seventies. It was over-hyped, and I was underwhelmed.

I have not seen any of the movies in the series since then.

I am not saying I won't see any of them....you know....if they come on TV, ......and there isn't a very touching episode of Full House on.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

ITS WHIET TRASH WEDNASDAY !1111!!1!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL

WHIET TRASH WEDNESDAY IS BROUGHT 2 U BY TEH LOV3LY AND TAELNT3D BTH AT MAH VAST RIGHT WNG CONSPIRACY WHO TURNAD ME ON 2 DA 3NGLISH-2-12-Y3AR-OLD-AOLER TRANSLA2R!1111!11 LOL

2DAY WE SHIEN DA EB & FLOW SPOTLIGHT ON DA MEN WHO LOK LIEK K3NY ROGERS WEBSIET!111 WTF LOL













HAEV U NOTIECD A LOT OF M3N OV3R A CARTANE AEG LOK A LOT LIEK SUPERSTAR COUNTRY SNGER KENY ROGARS?!!????! OMG















U NEVER KNOW WH3RE U MIGHT FIND SOM3ONE WHO LOKS LIEK KANY ROGERS IN TEH MAL ON TEH FREWAY AT A CONCART OR HANGNG OUT IN DA D3SERT!!1!!11 OMG WTF LOL

KEP UR CMERA READY AND U MIGHT WIN TEH K3NY OF DA MONTH COMPATITION1111! OMG




























DISCLAMEER : W3 DONT M3AN 2 IMPLY TAHT SUPERSTAR KENY ROG3RS IS WHIET TRASH11!!!1 OMG LOL NO SIR!11!1!1 OMG WTF H3 IS NO DOUBT A CLAS ACT BUT WE AERNT SO SUR3 ABOUT DA PEOPLE WHO MIGHT FIND THIS SORT OF THNG MUSNG1!!1!!!! WTF LOL

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

From the Desk of Pile--Not Satire

Have you ever found yourself employed as part of an overcrowded staff, surrounded by some heavy hitters nowhere near retirement? Sure you might be doing okay, holding your own but there doesn't seem to be any room to grow, in an industry that has shown ten straight years of decline. And to top it off you really don't get any satisfaction from the job, and it doesn't feel like what you were meant to do?

Well I have. So I have decided to go where I am most needed. The Larry Summers fiasco earlier in the year taught me that young people, especially young girls need to be inspired to pursue careers in science. So I asked myself, who better to inspire young minds than you Pile? Well, probably someone, but they are likely doing other things. So I continued to ask myself, Pile, why don't you use your degree in an applied biological science from the College of Agriculture and Natural Resources of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln for good rather than using it for nothing?

So, effective June 3rd I am resigning my current position and entering a summer program to fast track teacher certification. I just found out on Saturday that I can take an exam this coming Saturday to test my competency in the area I am seeking certification, Life Sciences. It is short notice, and I have been out of school for over thirteen years but what the heck, I can take it again in July if I fail and I haven't found the multiple choice test yet whose ass I couldn't kick. If I pass it, it will make the business of finding a position in the fall much easier.

So, I am going to take a pay cut and go into the belly of the beast. Why should we cede these positions to those on the left?

The beginning teacher should understand the historical developments of science, key events in the history of science, and the contributions that diverse cultures and individuals of both genders have made to scientific knowledge.

Oh, I do, I do. Gregor Mendel was a Navajo medicine woman.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Behind the Scenes at Chomsky.info

Pablo:

Please allow me to again thank you Mr. Chomsky for making my Chomsky fan site your official web site for all things Chomsky.

Chomsky:

Pablo, in principle, a system that provides a unique form of internet intelligence that manifests itself in human language, written language such as it is, delimits our unique capacity to develop a concept of number and abstract space, to construct scientific theories in certain web domains, to create certain systems of art, myth, and ritual, thus interpreting my decision regarding official web sites, to develop and comprehend certain systems of gratuitous social customs, and so on.

Pablo:

No, thank you Master.

Chomsky:

Pablo, regarding social rewards, it is my intention that remuneration correlates in part with the necessity of partial chine prolapsation. But insofar as that is true, it is simply a social malady to be overcome much as slavery had to be eliminated at an earlier stage of human history. It is sometimes argued that constructive and creative work will cease unless it leads to the alleviation of such maladies, so that all of society gains when the appropriate action is taken.

Pablo:

I don't understand Master, do you want me to update the website with news of the latest imperialist aggression by the Bush administration?

Chomsky:

Pablo, suppose your inquiry into the appropriate human action reveals that human cognitive capacities are highly structured by our familiarity with certain anatomical protrusions and that there are variations among individuals within a shared framework of suffering. This seems to me an entirely reasonable expectation, and a situation much to be desired. It has no implications with regard to equality of rights or condition, so far as I can see, beyond those already sketched.

Pablo:

You want me to change the appearance of the site?

Chomsky:

I desire a back rub.

Pablo:

Again?

Inspiration for this post provided here, by the crack young staff at Hatemonger's Quarterly.

Happy Birthday

The author of my favorite blog is celebrating her birthday. Villainous Company is a refreshing site, the posts are not written to keep the attention of those with ADHD. Cassandra's posts are always thought provoking, well written and reasoned. She is more concerned about writing great posts than getting links or spinning the sitemeter. Cassandra doesn't do it often but when she writes a humorous post she sizzles.

Go tell her happy birthday, there is free cake and beer if you tell her Pile sent you.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

ADVERTISEMENT

SMART THINGS CONSIDERED


Tune in this week to Smart Things Considered the internet radio show that has and will continue to consider all things smart.

"This week on the show we will be interviewing a very special guest, Iraqwarwrong, the author of the highly influential blog entitled, Iraq War Was Wrong Blog. Tune in and find out what that blog is really all about."--Pile On®


Smart Things Considered, if it's smart, we've considered it.

Check local listings for date and time.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday Vespers

Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Friday Vespers here at the world renowned The Ebb & Flow Institute. We have an action packed riveting show of riveted packed action planned for you today. So grab a beer and take a load off. Take a load for free. Yes, take a load off, and you put the load right on me.


In our talking points memo we have.....EU warns Iran of being referred to UN Security Council.

Oooooohhh, you wait until Kofi gets home, you little mullahs are gonna get a strongly worded vetoed resolution!!!

Talking points memo--point 2. GUILT BY ASSOCIATION HAS DEMS WORRIED

SEN. Hillary Rodham Clinton's pals stress that she's not a target in the criminal case against former chief fund-raiser David Rosen — but Democrats have the jitters because she could still pay a hefty political price.

I don't know where the author of this piece has been but legal proceedings have never been much of a problem for the Clintons. I thought they were going to talk about her appearance with Newt Gingrich to discuss health care.





In the Impact Segment Oscar winning actress Rene Zellweger has married talent challenged formulaic country singing male model Kenny Chesney. Best wishes kids.







In our most ridiculous item of the day segment we have two items. So we should actually call it the most ridiculous items of the day, but we don't want to start a precedent. Some days are slow ridiculous item days. Then where would we be?

Songwriter sues Britney Spears.

Someone wants credit for writing a Spears tune?

Microsoft to offer anti-virus protection, "Windows One Care".

Please, there will be enough for everyone, proceed in an orderly fashion.





**Commercial Break**

This is where you go to the official pub of The Ebb & Flow Institute and order another beer from our friendly waitstaff. But please, be kind and courteous, we have heard reports that some of you have not been treating the staff with the proper respect. Don't make the ladies go all medieval on you.










Welcome back, now the back of the book segment.

Mere suggestion of drink can trigger 'beer goggles'.

New research indicates that the mere suggestion of alcohol may act as an aphrodisiac. "What is most surprising is that mere expectancy can influence perception," said Markus Denzler, of the International University Bremen, Germany, and a co-author of the research report.

The new study indicates that [what] people expect from alcohol can be produced by simple exposure to flashes of alcohol-related words on a computer screen. Ronald Friedman, a psychologist at the University of Missouri, Columbia, and his colleagues tested the idea on 82 male undergraduate students.

So, in the interest of increasing our knowledge of beer and beer related issues we have decided to test this theory.

Heterosexual men and lesbians click here , hetero women, gay men and those otherwise attracted to men click here and report back in the comments. Give us a numerical rating from 1-5.
1 being totally turned off and 5 being you are feeling tingly in areas that can't be mentioned in polite company.

Ahhh, I love science.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Open Question

"I have no expectation that any man will read history aright who thinks that what was done in a remote age, by men whose names have resounded far, has any deeper sense than what he is doing today."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson: Essays: First Series [1841] History.

Additions to the Blogroll

I have been meaning to update the blog roll for a while now. I was going to go through and check all of them, there are a few that I seldom visit and take them off if they haven't been updated or they suck. Or don't suck enough. But that smacks of a public de-linking and I am not in the mood.

So I just added some new ones.

Ace of Spades HQ.

I guess he gets some traffic so I thought I would check out why, plus he is a fellow streaming audio guy, so I should probably keep an eye on him.

College Pundit
Garfield Ridge
Guide to Midwestern Culture
The Unpopulist
What Attitude Problem

I see these people commenting at the same blogs I like, so they are worth checking out.

Hugh Hewitt

I heard him on the radio last night. I will link him and maybe he will check out the site and the streaming audio show. You know, so he can pick up a few pointers.

The Hatemonger's Quarterly
It's A Pundit
Iraq War Was Wrong Blog

The first two are just overdue. The last one, just because I am trying to figure out what the blog is all about.

Say Anything

Hot chicks on Friday. Linking to this site will free me up on Friday to do other things.

I'm Awake

I am blog rolled there so you know it is a site of taste and refinement.

I used the Wuzzadem blah groal to speed this up. John is probably looking at his sitemeter thinking, wow Pile has spent a lot of time here today. I must really be writing some good stuff this week. No John, your output this week is a bit lacking. Maybe all this radio stuff is sucking the life out of you.

I really thought Glenn Reynolds would link to my Tiananmen Square post. Well, I tried to help him add something of social import to his site. I can't e-mail him good judgment.

I guess it is time to do another post about hot teacher chicks having sex with their students.


UPDATE

Okay, there was another site I meant to add to my site's blog roll, but now I can't remember what site it was. If it was your site, just tell me what your site is and I will get right on adding your site to my site's blog roll.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Tiananmen Square Coming of Age Ceremony

BEIJING - Beijing's Tiananmen Square was closed to the public on Wednesday for a government-organised coming-of-age ceremony for 18 year olds, an apparent attempt to thwart any student commemorations.

Wednesday marks the 86th anniversary of the May Fourth Movement of 1919, the first mass protest in modern Chinese history, and also of the beginning of the student democracy protests on May 4, 1989, and there had been speculation that protesters would gather in Beijing.

It has been sixteen years but it seems the communist party in China has finally gotten the message from the Tiananmen Square protestors of 1989.





Remember this brave young man who stared down tanks stopping their advance for over half an hour to prove his coming of age?
















Who can forget the image of the Coming of Age Goddess?















Isn't it swell that the PRC marks the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre with a coming of age ceremony? They were just precocious youngsters anyway.








Let us not forget those hundreds or perhaps thousands of young men and women who never got the chance to come of age.







-

So I Was Thinking.....

You know how sometimes you will hear someone go on about a person in their life who "sacrificed" and worked 2 or 3 jobs to support them or put them through school?

What is so noble about that?

5.2% of the workforce can't find even one job and these people are selfishly hogging up 2 or 3?

Outrageous.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The Laffer Curve--Not About the Funny

More evidence that supply-siders are correct. I know you are busy, let me summarize.

Taxes.....lowered.

Revenue .....up.

Deficit......Last week, the U.S. Treasury reported a surge in revenues before the April 15 tax deadline that resulted in a $54 billion gain that has pushed this fiscal year's April-June third quarter into surplus territory.


Will Krugman notice? Not likely, he is busy comparing people who want private accounts as a part of Social Security to car salesmen that roll back odometers.






What is this you ask?

It is three Moroccan Christian rock fans thrashin' at a recent three day festival. Of course.








An acknowledgment not coupled with anything resembling a disclaimer and we are certainly not going to stoop to summarizing any pleas.


It seems I have been receiving countless cards and letters from peoples telling me how much they enjoyed the internet streaming audio shows I did with John from Wuzzadem. Countless peoples seem to be clamoring to know when the show will be on again.

I don't know. I just don't know. I would like to do the show weekly (whenever I feel like it), but it may have to be a solo show. John and I are having what you might call creative differences.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Ebb & Flow Open House

Hello and welcome to the all new The Ebb & Flow Institute. The remodeling is complete, the contractors have been sent on their way and we can get down to the hard work of thinking about the large issues of our times.


But first, have a look around the luxurious new headquarters, and help yourself to a hot towel. Nothing but the best for the patrons of the Institute.

A very special thanks to Mrs. On, without whom the creation of the new Ebb & Flow logo would not have been possible, not to mention she had to put up with a couple episodes of severe frustercation on Saturday.

Thanks, and happy Mothers Day.

Consider this another open thread to discuss whatever large issues are on your mind.

I'll get you started.

I wonder if the neighbors would mind if I borrowed their cat? You know for cat blogging. With the new headquarters, I want to stay ahead of the curve.


UPDATE:

Is anybody having any technical trouble with the site? I have one report that the sidebar is not loading using IE. I have checked using IE and am not having any trouble.

Talk to me peoples.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Friday Vespers

Hello and welcome to another Friday vespers here at the Institute. Help yourself to a beer from one of our friendly waitstaff peoples. Make yourself at home, just don't double dip your chip in the salsa after you have taken a bite. We frown on that. Don't make us frown.

I apologize for a weak week of posting. I simply have not had the time, between work, meetings, work, tenants, The Onlette's™ firsts shots, and The Onlette™ in general.

On Tuesday, The Onlette™ learned to play by herself in her bouncer and laugh at the noises and lights when she kicks the buttons. I think she might be a genius.

I have not even kept up with the news to know what to post about. Over the weekend the site is going to be put under construction. We need a fresh look here, so I have hired a world famous graphic artist. We should finish that up this weekend and get back to normal next week. So you can look forward to the same award winning journalism you have become accustomed to.

Sorry that is all I have time for. I have to take a client golfing this afternoon. Damn it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

No Posts For You!!

Renters can be such a pain. So a little water leaked from the upstairs condo and soaked the bathroom floor, after it filled the globe light fixture and leaked over the top.

Why is it so important to have a light there anyway? The only thing in that room is a toilet and shower? What on earth could she be doing in there that requires so much light?

She acts like she has never heard the sizzle of electricity entering water when she flips a light switch before.

Some people.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Because of Nature, Every Post is Not Gold

Yesterday evening I went out behind the Institute and attempted to exert my dominance over nature. I was quite effective and nature is a bit more docile today, but she did fight back. This probably isn't the best time of the year for me to be picking this fight but Mrs. On wants to plant some flowers. Nature will not stand in the way of Mrs. On's wants.

To sum up, I have a headache, my eyes are burning, my nose is running and I can't think so goodly. So I will just point you in the direction of people who don't have to hold their head back so snot doesn't drip on their keyboard (this is only a guess, I have no way of knowing for certain).


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I didn't know anyone besides Jack was posting at Tigerhawk, but I will say this for the Charlottesvillain, he knows quality classical music when he sees it. I do love a woman who can play the fiddle.

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I had no idea the Instapundit was so infatuated with Condi. He may need to seek help.


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Over at Heigh-Ho the editorial staff is concerned about the U.S. losing influence in our hemisphere. Part of the blame goes to Social Conservatives and their influence on our AIDS foreign aid policy. I don't disagree with the staff and management of Heigh-Ho, I am just not quite as concerned, you know, big picture wise. Go check it out for yourself.


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Over at Wuzzadem The McLaughlin Group is discussing the fall of Constantine. John is like an anchor when it comes to doing a radio show but when he writes dialogue I hear the voice of the person he is satirizing. Excellent stuff. Go.


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Consider this an open thread to discuss anything that is on your mind.

I will get you started.

Beer, is it the best thing ever for treating allergies?

Or just pretty good?

Monday, May 02, 2005

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NEWS FLASH! Pudding Preferred To Custard

Finger food is apparently the in thing this year. Despite the recent apparent hoax involving Wendy's, there have now been two body parts found in food in the past month. One was in Ohio a few weeks ago. The most recent involved a North Carolina man who found a finger tip in his custard. There appears to be no dispute about the authenticity of the finger tip.


Hmm, I think it could use a little more thumb.

[T]he owner confirmed one of his employees lost part of a finger in an accident with a food-processing machine. It was not immediately clear how the severed finger got into the custard.
Uh, OK. Of course, the man is now going to call a lawyer. How typical. You know, adulterated food is yucky. It can give you an uneasy feeling for a few minutes. But so long as you don't get sick, I mean, GET OVER IT YOU WUSS! I am so sick of the easily distressed in this country. Yeah, the finger was not supposed to be in the custard. You get $100. Now go away and let the real claims get heard in court.



Now, let's get to the real opinion here. This is just one more piece of evidence in support of pudding. That is right. Ever found a finger in your pudding? I don't think so.

Three cheers for pudding!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Smart Things Considered--A Transcript

The Ebb & Flow Institute proudly releases a transcript from a portion of the inaugural Smart Things Considered, a weekly internet radio show.


**Heart of Gold by Neil Young fades out**

John: Welcome to Smart Things Considered, your streaming alternative to talk radio with your host Pile On, resident of the John Locke Chair at the Ebb & Flow Institute and of course yours truly John from Wuzzadem, where we discuss the latest in news, politics and popular culture.

Pile: Isn't talk radio supposed to be an alternative to the mainstream media? Then that would make us alternative alternative. Does it get any cooler than that John?

John: Is that supposed to be funny Pile? Because an alternative alternative media would be the original mainstream media.

Pile: Or no media at all.

John: Good point Pile, from your lips to Gods ears.

Pile: What are we doing on today's show John? Do you have anything lined up for us?

John: Indeed Pile. Today we have a very special treat for our listener, we will be interviewing Cassandra from the award winning, growing by leaps and bounds blog, Villainous Company.

Pile: Wow, major coup, I have been wanting to interview her for sometime now.

John: Well, then what are we waiting for, Cassandra are you there?

Cassandra: Yes I am gentlemen, thanks for having me on your show.

Pile: The pleasure is all ours Cass, right John?

John: Uh, yeah Pile, of course. Cassandra, I read on your site today an excellent poem about turds, and their unfortunate placement in a punchbowl. This has been a growing [bleeped] in the blogosphere, and yet yours was quite extraordinary. You followed the rules and then you broke all the rules, I am not being patronizing here, it was something special.

Cassandra: Thank you John, I hate to admit it but I only spent about two minutes and forty five seconds on the whole thing. You know someone once described me as a troublemaking non-conformist for The Man, and I think that......

Pile: [interrupting] So Cass, now that you have written a poem about punch, do you have any plans to write about any dessert products?

John: Don't start Pile, I know where you are going with this and you agreed not to.

Pile: What are you talking about?

John: You know damn well what, you want her to talk about pudding.

Pile: Hey [bleeped], you are the one that brought up pudding, not me.

John: [bleeped]

Cassandra:[bleeped]

Pile: Let's take a call, Eric do we have any callers with a question for Cassandra?

Eric: No.

John: Do we have any callers that want to talk about anything?

Eric: No.

Pile: Well then call someone Eric, we need callers.

John: You want him to solicit a caller, how [bleeped] stupid are you?

Pile: Eric, can you tell if anyone is even listening?

Eric: Yes I can and no there isn't.

Pile: Then cue the music my friend, on behalf of everyone here at Smart Things Considered I would like to thank Cassandra for being our guest. John and I would like to thank our producer and screener of calls Eric from Vince Aut Morire, remember to tune in next week same time same place for Smart Things Considered.

**********off the air*************

John: Wow, I thought that went great. Good show Pile.

Pile: I thought so too, thanks. Cass, thanks so much, can we call you sometime to be on the show again?

Cassandra:

John: She must have hung up.

Eric: No she is still....wait, now she did, yeah.


Update: Our second show is in the can and John has a portion of the transcript here. I think it went swimmingly, we are going to own this medium.

Turd In A Punchbowl [deleted]

So it seems I have been tagged in this vile turd poetry [deleted] thing that is going through the blogosphere like a nasty case of the crud. The worst part of this is, I was tagged by my new online radio partner, John from Wuzzadem, whom you would think I could trust since I am allowing him to ride my coattails to the pinnacle of streaming audio success.

Anyway, let's get this over shall we.


Turd in a punchbowl
from my pocket on the sly
turd in a punchbowl
I'll litigate these bastards dry

*****************************

Turd in a punchbowl
oh thirst I risk derision
turd in a punchbowl
Later to blame poor vision



There you have it.

My victims are.....

KJ @ the Cheese

Dan @ Riehl World View

Hector @ Hector Vex Infotainment

For the rules go here and blame him for this [deleted].