Sunday, May 01, 2005

Smart Things Considered--A Transcript

The Ebb & Flow Institute proudly releases a transcript from a portion of the inaugural Smart Things Considered, a weekly internet radio show.

**Heart of Gold by Neil Young fades out**

John: Welcome to Smart Things Considered, your streaming alternative to talk radio with your host Pile On, resident of the John Locke Chair at the Ebb & Flow Institute and of course yours truly John from Wuzzadem, where we discuss the latest in news, politics and popular culture.

Pile: Isn't talk radio supposed to be an alternative to the mainstream media? Then that would make us alternative alternative. Does it get any cooler than that John?

John: Is that supposed to be funny Pile? Because an alternative alternative media would be the original mainstream media.

Pile: Or no media at all.

John: Good point Pile, from your lips to Gods ears.

Pile: What are we doing on today's show John? Do you have anything lined up for us?

John: Indeed Pile. Today we have a very special treat for our listener, we will be interviewing Cassandra from the award winning, growing by leaps and bounds blog, Villainous Company.

Pile: Wow, major coup, I have been wanting to interview her for sometime now.

John: Well, then what are we waiting for, Cassandra are you there?

Cassandra: Yes I am gentlemen, thanks for having me on your show.

Pile: The pleasure is all ours Cass, right John?

John: Uh, yeah Pile, of course. Cassandra, I read on your site today an excellent poem about turds, and their unfortunate placement in a punchbowl. This has been a growing [bleeped] in the blogosphere, and yet yours was quite extraordinary. You followed the rules and then you broke all the rules, I am not being patronizing here, it was something special.

Cassandra: Thank you John, I hate to admit it but I only spent about two minutes and forty five seconds on the whole thing. You know someone once described me as a troublemaking non-conformist for The Man, and I think that......

Pile: [interrupting] So Cass, now that you have written a poem about punch, do you have any plans to write about any dessert products?

John: Don't start Pile, I know where you are going with this and you agreed not to.

Pile: What are you talking about?

John: You know damn well what, you want her to talk about pudding.

Pile: Hey [bleeped], you are the one that brought up pudding, not me.

John: [bleeped]


Pile: Let's take a call, Eric do we have any callers with a question for Cassandra?

Eric: No.

John: Do we have any callers that want to talk about anything?

Eric: No.

Pile: Well then call someone Eric, we need callers.

John: You want him to solicit a caller, how [bleeped] stupid are you?

Pile: Eric, can you tell if anyone is even listening?

Eric: Yes I can and no there isn't.

Pile: Then cue the music my friend, on behalf of everyone here at Smart Things Considered I would like to thank Cassandra for being our guest. John and I would like to thank our producer and screener of calls Eric from Vince Aut Morire, remember to tune in next week same time same place for Smart Things Considered.

**********off the air*************

John: Wow, I thought that went great. Good show Pile.

Pile: I thought so too, thanks. Cass, thanks so much, can we call you sometime to be on the show again?


John: She must have hung up.

Eric: No she is still....wait, now she did, yeah.

Update: Our second show is in the can and John has a portion of the transcript here. I think it went swimmingly, we are going to own this medium.