Pile In Aught Ocho Town Hall Meeting Number 1
First let me say, this is not CSPAN. The Iraq war has made me well aware that the American people have the attention span of a dog pecker gnat*, so this is going to be a fast paced exchange. Read fast or be left behind.
Peggy Noonan, you are first up. Go ahead Peggy.
Yes Mr. On, the American people want to know just one thing of their president: WILL YOU SUFFER?
Peggy, let me just say that I really enjoyed that book you did on President Reagan, When Character Was King.
And not just suffer privately, but will you seem to suffer publicly during press conferences, public appearances, and the like so that we can savor your suffering?
Oprah tapes in Chicago. Thanks.
Next question, you, MTV viewer person.
Yes thank you Mr. On my question is, the war in Iraq?
I support it.
The war on terror?
The war in Bosnia?
Sure why not.
The battle of the bulge?
Thank God CNN wasn’t there.
The War on drugs?
Like your drugs huh?
Partial birth abortion?
Sometimes less is more.
The F word?
The S word?
The N word?
Don’t use it.
The C word?
Wouldn’t recommend it.
National health care?
Sure, if the nation is sick.
Good friends are hard to find.
I am sure I will be a source of future inspiration.
To each his own.
Long walks in the park?
The only thing better is a short walk.
Warrantless wire taps?
Depends on what you mean by warrantless?
Surgical spinal taps?
This is spinal tap?
Wait till they get a load of me.
Needs a house cleaning.
Glad they are on my side.
What does that second A stand for?
If you aren’t part of the solution you must be part of the precipitate.
Isn’t that an AM station in Chicago?
The ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter?
Yes, I like pi.
Depends on who is missing them.
The Astros aren’t having a very good year.
Brazilian bikini wax?
I have never understood why they call it a bikini wax.
A poor substitute for a family.
Why do you ask?
Don’t need them.
Haven’t seen them.
Sure, just don’t get carried away.
It's not about the bottle.
Wouldn’t be the first time.
99.9 percent of all species that have ever lived have gone extinct. We are all endangered.
Not quite as sexy as global warming.
Don’t make me flash the lights.
What do we do on the days without wind?
Get back to me when the technology has improved.
Never knew I needed them till I had them.
Sorry, just checking to see if my wallet is still there.
That’s why we build prisons.
Happy is good.
Only works in theory, kind of like Marxism.
Like him or no, you got what you voted for.
Women in prison movies?
Sure, if tastefully done.
What type of underwear do you like?
*Dog pecker gnat is the common name for canis genitales sp., of the order diptera. An unremarkable specimen that spends its summer days buzzing about warm moist dog members.