Sunday, December 05, 2004

Dumb Ass Quote of the Week

Outgoing Health and Human Services secretary Tommy Thompson wins our inaugural Dumb Ass of the Week Award* when he uttered the following words of glittering geniusness.

Despite dramatic increases in inspections of food imports,
only a " very minute amount" of food is tested at ports and

For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists
have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do.
We are importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it
would be easy to tamper with that.

When asked about Thompson's statement President Bush responded, "I'd like to thank Tommy for bringing this to the whole worlds attention" adding, "I am calling on all the outgoing members of the administration to compile a list of where we are most vulnerable to a really easy terrorist attack, so we can put it one the internet."

UPDATE: President Bush is now urging Americans to refrain from eating food until he can appoint a Human Nourishment Homeland Health & Safety Security Czar with the necessary levels of bureaucracy to effectively deal with this crisis. Sources close to the White House tell me that Ingrid Newkirk is on the short list of possible appointments.

*Weekly award will be given out whenever we feel like it.