Monday, March 28, 2005

Feminists And Islamists Form Alliance To Slam Patriarchal Pork.

Feminism, Islamonutterism and controversy are on the surge as these disparate movements find common ground in opposition to pork, oppressive swine and oinker by-products.

Black and white flyers have been distributed on the campus of the University of New Hampshire and in the Mosques of Scotland, depicted a drawing of a woman grasping onto a hammer with "FEMINISM" on the handle. In the middle of the female symbol fists were clenched and space above the woman read: "If I had a hammer...I'd SMASH Pork Patriarchy." A bubble by her face said, "I FOUND IT!"

Satellite imaging technology estimates that as many as forty people may have attended a Smash Pork Patriarchy rally on the UNH campus.

The event, featuring poetry readings, skits, monologues, praying, and an open microphone for ululating, was designed to give women a space to share their experiences of porcine oppression in a comfortable setting, Megan Snit, a member of the FLF (Feminist Liberation Front), said.

In Scotland a pub owner who was displaying an offensive sign advertising a lot that had been set-aside for his customers to pork in, has come under fire from insurgent feminists and their new found allies in the Islamic community. The sign, next to a parking lot said "Porking Yard" and was deliberately provoking to the Muslim community said Somali-born Khalil Abdi who has appointed himself neighborhood warden on the lookout for provoking provocations. "And of course it bothers women for some reason, so we join with FLF to smash this affront to our delicate religious and feminine sensibilities" uttered Abdi.

I find great joy in threatening men's lives, said one anonymous woman attending the FLF rally in New Hampshire. This new alliance with the Islamists is totally cool. I love flicking off frat brothers and plotting the pig patriarchy's death. I hate men because they are men, because I see them for what they are: misogynistic, sexist, oppressive and absurdly pathetic beings who only serve to pollute and contaminate this world with war, abuse, oppression, rape and unclean meat products" the anonymous source went on. Meagan Snit cut in, "we are learning much from our Islamist, next week we plan a ritual swine castration live on our website".

The alliance between radical man hating feminists and radical western man hating Islamists poses some ideological challenges admitted Khalil Abdi, "but" he said, " gone are the days of porcine paterfamilias hegemony, we will gut this unclean pig from the inside out, whatever, the streets will run with unclean blood". Besides stated Khalil, "since when has any group with liberation in their name stood for anything of the kind"?


Anyway, that is how I read this. Admittedly it could be a combination of the barleywine and sleep decimation.

UPDATE: I just realized Cassandra posted on part of this story yesterday. I am not sure how I missed it, but as you might expect she has a slightly different take on events. It is probably gender bias at work.