Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Dumbass of the Week

As you know, the Ebb and Flow Institute gives out weekly awards whenever we durn well feel like it. This week's Dumbass of the Week Award goes to Mr. Blake Steidler.

Blake Steidler's Dumbass Story

Mr. Steidler, of the Pennsylvania Steidlers, was unhappy with his penile enlargement surgery. Hey, a routine plastic surgery procedure should work, and he was tired of telling new girlfriends that he was the unfortunate victim of a crotch related industrial accident. So he did what any normal, unhappy consumer unable to keep a woman past their first sexual encounter would do. He mailed a bomb to his plastic surgeon.
Steidler, 24, allegedly made an explosive device that included a model-rocket engine igniter inside a jewelry box, the federal indictment said. Steidler drove to North Bloomfield, Ohio, on Feb. 10 and mailed the box, but then drove home to Lancaster County, Pa., called 911, and turned himself in, according to the indictment.
Yup, that's right. After going to the trouble of making a home made mail bomb, packing it, addressing it, buying the stamps and mailing it to the unskilled doctor that botched his surgery, he did not have the balls to see his plan through to the end. As if having a small, surgery scarred penis weren't bad enough, he also has no balls. Congrats!