Friday, January 14, 2005

The Good The Bad & Pile

There has been some reporting of the Clint Eastwood comments to Michael Moore at a National Board of Review awards dinner where Clint threatened to Kill Moore if he showed up at his house carrying a camera.

Since I attended this dinner, I was surprised at how much the news coverage left out, so I thought I would share the entire exchange with you here.

Eastwood: Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common - we both appreciate living in
a country where there's free expression. But, Michael, if you ever show up
at my front door with a camera - I'll kill you.

Eruptions of laughter

Eastwood: I mean it.

Laughter becomes more nervous

Pile: So Mr. Eastwood, you are not a fan of Moore's work?

Eastwood: A man's got to know his limitations.

Moore: Clint, I have no beef with you, in fact I enjoy your mindless jingoistic films.

Eastwood: Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!

Moore: Don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch! Do you know who I am? Do you know my record?

Eastwood: Yeah... you're a legend in your own mind.

Pile: Mr. Moore, do you have any plans to film Mr. Eastwood at his home for one of your documentaries?

Moore: Well, I have been considering a project that I would like to include Clint in, but my intent would not be to show him in any unflattering way.

Eastwood: Well, when a fat man come on your property with intent to commit slander, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

Pile: Intent? How did you establish that?

Eastwood: When a fat man trespasses on your property with a camera and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

Pile: He's got a point.

Moore: I think you misunderstand the importance of my work, a man has to do something these days to earn a living.

Eastwood: Dyin' ain't much of a living fat boy.

Moore: Fine, I will add you to my list of people who have given me death threats, but don't worry, I won't be showing up at your house to shoot any footage.

Eastwood: That's mighty phat of you.

Moore: You really are a dirty son of a bitch.

Eastwood: The dirtiest.

And that really is how it went down.