Thursday, February 17, 2005

Fox Hunting Ban Takes Effect

Support Fox Hunting
On Friday the Fox Hunting ban will take effect in England and hunting dogs will need to be re-purposed (sort of like what out-sourcing does for working Americans here). The Institute brain trust is now on the case 100 ProofPercent to propose retasking ideas.

Friday, 18th February 2005
On Friday 18th February the Hunting Act 2004 comes into force in England & Wales. Most forms of hunting wild mammals with dogs will be banned and hunts will be required to begin the process of adapting to the 'new way of life'.
Many Police forces across England & Wales are bracing themselves for the enormous task of policing the countryside, looking for potential illegal hunting. However some forces have concerns on implementation of the ban, and others are simply allocating minimal resources to it - in Devon and Cornwall, which covers at least 33 hunts, there are only six designated hunt officers to enforce the ban.

After some careful consideration, the Institute proposes that the following musical activity, which we've found has gone on for years in one English county, should be adopted throughout the British Isles.

Pictured above is not some new Airport Security device but the reverse side of the fabled Houndorgan

It’s spring, fox hunting time, that the means that the people of Dillshire in England will once again be graced with the melodious sound of the fabled houndorgan. As is customary the intricate system of pulleys and cables that connects the keyboard to the hammers, that gently smack that hounds testicles, evoking that full rich sound, is hidden from view. The soulful sounds emanating from the houndorgan are said only to be rivaled by the equally prestigious Beijing Cacaphonic Swine-ette, and then only when playing the 1812 Overture.