Sunday, February 13, 2005

A Sign of the The Times

From today's New York Times Corrections (fifth item): An article last Sunday about the popular music scene in Montreal misidentified a possible factor in a rejuvenation of English-speaking culture in Quebec. It was the threat of secession, not succession.

Regular readers of the Institute's intellectual tomes scholarly monographs lunatic screeds occasional reminders will note that the murder mangling casual misuse of the English language does not sit well with the Board. The English language is a beautiful thing. Gifted with its freedom to augment itself to reflect the times and mood of the speaker, and unfettered by overbearing xenophobic bureaucratic regulation, the English language has produced some of the most endearing language ever uttered.

The Institute' s laissez faire attitude towards an idiotic unintentional massacre abuse bandying of the King's English is best exemplified by this writer's stalwart refusal to smash his wife's brand new GMC Denali into the first available bridge abutment simply because General Motors had chosen to include in its owner's manual the abominable and unfathomable term “gage” rather than the time-honored and eminently capable "gauge." Never mind that such a vocabulary faux pas would have dearly earned your intrepid corespondent three quick whacks from the Holy Ruler dispensed by the indomitable Sister Mary Ita. Brother, I am now chill.

So let it be understood that, in general, the Institute and its hangers-on flunkies esteemed members, do grant the occasional offensive grammarian a marquee upon which they may proclaim their ignorance a boatload of righteous ridicule a "pass." We prefer as a matter of policy, however, to gently prod the recalcitrant mal-linguist towards a more skillful conveyance of his or her future messages. That being said, it is beyond even the vast powers of the Institute to grant such latitude to a MORON published by The New York Times, the supposed "newspaper of record"who can't even tell the difference between a revolutionary separation of a formal confederacy of interest from that of a system to advance a familiar/political line of power. See, e.g., C.S.A. v. United States (1861-65) ; see also: Veiled Women with Pitchforks v. Saudi Arabian Dick-heads (2005).

I'd flunk my high-school sophomore for less.