Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Interview Game (continued)

Cassandra, an erstwhile elephant and sports car enthusiast (when not bathing) has corraled me into playing "The Interview Game," whereby she gets to ask me 5 questions, and I get to respond on a blog. As this is the only blog that will let me anywhere near membership, I beg the Institute's forgiveness for diverting attention from more important issues... such as whether women in prison have good beer.

I also get to ask five questions to any member of the vast horde of dedicated E&F readers brave enough to write "interview me" in the comments section below. That lucky person will then in turn answer those questions on their blog and ask the next idiot in line for a volunteer interviewee, and so forth and so forth ad infinitum or until the Cubs win the World Series. I can make up the questions or swipe them from more original people, but I promise that they won't have anything to do with "erectile disfunction" or shingles, so don't be a chicken.

Here we go with Cass' questions and my replies:

1. Has a book or movie ever changed the way you looked at the world? What was it, and why?

2.You are absolutely alone in an open field with the politician of your choice – what do you do next? You may take any supplies you can carry on your person.
Let's see:
Open field...check.
Teddy Kennedy...check.
My only problem is that I just can't decide whether to bring a classic white ash Louisville Slugger, or go high-tech for the big occasion with an Easton Triple 8 CXN Connexion Z-Core. Either way, "baseball" is next on the agenda.

3. Which of your five senses gives you the greatest pleasure?
Taste. Hands down. I mean smell is pretty good. Baking bread, spring meadows, ocean breezes, that cute young secretary on 14 when she gets in the elevator....hmmmm... But then there's a lot of bad smelling stuff too (which we will not discuss), therefore smell can't possibly provide me the greatest pleasure. Neither can touch. Oh sure, touch feels pretty good when your rolling around with your partner...but have you ever smashed your thumb with a hammer? Touch hurts! Nope, not touch. Hearing? (Eh?) Don't get me wrong, I love music, and hearing is really good for that. But does good music make up for the sound of somebody else's screaming brat in the row behind you on a five hour flight? Hearing has too much to overcome for it to ever be considered the source of my greatest pleasure.

So it's down to sight and taste. The sight of Venus rising in the morning past feathery clouds vs. the taste of baby back ribs, rubbed and smoked and tenderly basted for hours, set down in piles next to a cold, handcrafted beer. It's a toughie...and then I hear my stomach. Taste is the one sense that doesn't assault you. You choose the time and manner to indulge that sense. It's the only sense that you can control.
Food tastes good. All of it.
Taste wins.

4. If you could live in a foreign country for a year, which one would you choose? Why?

Another tough question. Do you pick a place that you've been and feel comfortable about staying for a year? Or someplace new, and completely off of your socio-political map. I guess I am showing my age that I finally chose safe and secure Italy. I have been there many times (although not in some years), but still find it (along with Spain and Greece) the most intriguing countries. I can ski in the Dolemites, bask in the warm Mediterranean sun, drink deeply from the Tuscan groves and still root around in a history that rivals any civilzation. Music and food, architecture and art, and dark eyed Italian women who might just drop an eyelid and make me shudder like a schoolboy.

5. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? This is a serious question.
No it isn't. No one could seriously put Daffy Duck in the same league with the Bugster. The Duck is a stoooge, a LOSER. He never completes any of his plans but instead runs off blathering insane nonsense with his beak 90 degrees off-center after being blown up for the 52nd time in his feeble attempt to de-throne Bugs. Daffy is a negative character, always with an uncalled-for "despicable" sloppily spittled at his rivals to deflect his own incompetance. Bugs never even notices the slander of the retrobate duck, but presses on with his programs. Daffy is the suicide bomber we all hate, except he does no harm to anyone but himself, and even that isn't fatal. Bugs, on the other hand is upbeat, self-confident, patriotic, strong-willed and knows how to handle gremlins. In short, Bugs is a Republican, Daffy is a Democrat. Lame duck indeed.

* This question has nearly confounded me. I think I have an answer, but I am vacillating. I promise to post the answer to this question shortly, and thereby ensure your everlasting boredom. As a teaser: "Atlas Shrugged" loses.