Christmas Eve Vespers At The Institute

Seasons Greetings

Just because it is Christmas eve doesn't mean there isn't any beer news. Iowa Farmers are feeding beer to cattle, and of course they like it, even getting a little finicky if they are fed without it. I'll drink to that.

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Still have some last minute gifts to pick up? Why not send a goat to the third world in someone's name? You will be providing some lucky third worlder with milk, meat, manure and offspring for trade. Nothing says Merry Christmas like manure.

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One German newspaper is only printing good news in it's Christmas issue this year. I had to wonder if they would be able to find enough material to print, but they seem to have come up with a few things anyway.

An Israeli scientist had developed a laser treatment against bad breath and a mugger in Zagreb who was always polite to his victims was finally captured by police.

"The procreation rate rises each year during the Christmas holidays," was the headline over a report that the number of births in Germany rises sharply every year in mid-September -- nine months after Christmas. That's good news?

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It is cold in North Korea, but rest easy Mr. Beloved Leader got a yuletide commie vent tongue massaging. That dude is sick. I like that!

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Scott Ott is being outsourced to a classroom of trained chimps in St. Louis. Don't worry about the Institute, we get by with a low wage canine work force.

Ebb & Flow salutes Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities.

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Liberal Larry is taking some much deserved time off during this strictly secular time of the year. But not before dumping his mailbag for us, and wishing us a very Happy Kwanzaa and a Merry Mandatory Staff Meeting. What a sweet, sweet man.

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UPDATE

For your Christmas eve tv viewing pleasure tune into Fox News for a look back at the key moments of the Scott Peterson Murder trial, with Greta Van Suteran at 10 p.m. ET.

I God Woodrow!