Slow News Day Roundup

The head of the political wing of Al-Qiaiaieaieada, Osama Bin Laden announces today his opposition to democracy saying "voting is for Infidels".

We can't find words for just how shocked, SHOCKED we are.

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Pharmaceutical companies issue a common sense warning to their employees, that really is good advice for all of us. Beware of scruffy fat dudes sporting a baseball cap that will twist your words, take you out of context and attempt to destroy the company you work for.

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AOL announces that spam e-mail is declining. They recorded 1.6 billion e-mails in November compared with 2.1 billion in the same month a year ago.
After we got over the shock that those e-mails may not be effective we had to ask "if you can count them, why can't you block them?"

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Ukrainian Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych, who lost the special election announces that he will contest the results stating "Viktor Yushchenko is an arsenic addict that is not fit to serve".
We are just thankful that Kerry didn't take the election performance enhancing drug.

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Major retailers are hoping to meet modest sales goals with a post Christmas rush of people using gift cards to take advantage of sales.
We find this most confusicating. Aren't gift cards already paid for? If we were a major retailer we would hope people never showed up to cash in their damned gift cards.

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Bob Barker at age 81 announces that he will be back next year for his 34th season on the Price is Right.
We are not surprised, when you reach the pinnacle of the tv business why not stay there as long as you can. Game shows have seasons?

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In other shocking news, the staff at the Institute could not come up with a single interesting news story, that would allow us to post a picture of a hot chick. Must be a slow news day.