Animal News, Brought To You By PETA
In order to pay the unemployment claim we were forced to pay Larry following a less than successful "odor intervention" last week, The Ebb & Flow Institute has had to accept sponsorships for some of our stories. Today, our segment of animal news is brought to you by PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals.
Florida Gator Fan Out of Control:
A man moving from California to Georgia faces possible federal charges after a traffic stop led to the discovery of 32 alligators crammed into a trailer with his belongings. Arizona Game and Fish officials seized the alligators, including a 9-foot gator that weighted 400 pounds. The man, who was pulled over by police in Arizona, told police that the alligators were his pets.
In related news, the price of gator tail appetizer fell sharply in Phoenix restaurants this week.
Elephants Run Loose In South Korea:
Six elephants escaped from an amusement park and rampaged through the city of Seoul, South Korea. Police said the animals were able to escape because of a "zookeeper's carelessness."
One woman was injured when one of the elephants charged into an alley near an elementary school and hit her with its trunk.
Three other elephants barged into a nearby restaurant. They ordered shrimp tempura.
A lot of pictures can be found here.
Pig Shoots Neighbor For Not Taking A Courtesy Flush:
Alternative headline: Officer's Gun Falls From Pants, Shoots Man In Other Bathroom Stall.
Good thing a Marine didn't write that headline.
Off-duty Police Officer Craig Clancy took a break from an auto auction to answer nature's call. While dropping trou, his pistol fell from his waistband and went off -- twice. Do you smell bacon?
Do You Have Any References?
Housesitters left to watch a house in Canada were not so reliable. The owner came home to find the house abandoned, the house in disarray, and left over kitty in the fridge. The neighbor's cat, Prowler, went missing during the same time period. Police believe that "the animal was killed in the bathtub and then hung from the showerhead."
OK, I think I finally got it. People are hanged, cats are hung?
Hey, Vet, Can I Get The Patch?
In South Africa, enlightenment capital of the world, a Zoo chimpanzee named Charlie has picked up the habit of smoking. Apparently, he learned how by watching the visitors to the zoo. These great customers also feed his habit.
A spokesman at the Bloemfontein Zoo said, "it looks funny to see a chimp smoking" -- but Charlie's trick could cost him his health. The zoo is asking people to stop tossing cigarettes and contributing to the chimp's habit.
Charlie was asked for comment, but we couldn't understand the mechanical voice through the box he held up to his throat when he talked.