First things first.
Unlike mein host, old Jehane is all about equal-opportunity oinkitude. And none of that fake stuff neither - so head on over here and check out some real American men and women.
Ladies first, too.
I don't know about you, but after a few brewskis and a long work week English has a tendency to become my second fricking language. Sometimes all you can do is laugh it off. I found these signs at engrish.com:
Hmmm.... I wonder what his secret superpower is?
We have got to get those vitamin supplements away from Grandpa...
Look on the bright side... how many people can say they're capable of functioning as their own nightlight?
You're not from around here, are you?
Don't even think of bringing that nasty thing in here with you. Just park it over there, buddy.
Oh for crap's sake... if I'd known it was going to be this much trouble I'd have sent my older brother in...
The hidden dangers of molten lava...
It's a good idea to keep a spare one around for emergencies.
Even better, if you haven't seen the latest StarWars movie, here's the foreign version (warning - contains plot spoiler):
But my absolute favorite sign comes from a US government installation you all would recognize. I admit to having had it purloined from the bathroom. It said:
RESTROOM CLOSED FOR PAINTING AND REPAIRS
SORRY FOR THE INCONTINENCE.
Your federal tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen.
Whatever you do, have a great weekend folks... and be careful out there.