Thursday, September 22, 2005

Pile Gone?

Hello everybody. Sam Houston here. A good friend from Virginia (where I was born) contacted me and asked if I wouldn't mind stepping up to the plate as a guest blogger at the Institute while Chief Pile On collects his family and gets the hell out of town. I'm honored that Texas' foremost think tank would consider me, particularly in this hour of peril.

Folks, things are going to get trying for my beloved Texas over the next few days. Nature is sending its mightiest engine of destruction straight down the track at us and the best we can do is get out of the way. I am here to tell that there is no shame or cowardice in running from this menace. Hell, one of the best things I ever did was to retreat from Santa Anna after the fall of the Alamo and Goliad, and then knock that bastard flat at San Jacinto . Pick your fights, and win 'em, I always say. This here's one you can't win.

Fellow Texans, I have never been so proud of you as when I watched you open your hearts and cities to those ravaged by Katrina. Now, I expect that you will make me proud once more with your courage and resolve in the face of nature's fury. I want each of you to follow orders and evacuate to safety. I don't want other Texans to have to risk their lives rescuing you because you got stubboner than an old mule. And by jimminy, I don't want to see any one of you taking advantage of the situation to help himself to his neighbor's horse. This is by-God Texas, and we will not cotton to any such behavior. I expect that every man will aquit himself accordingly.
Captain, do you have anything to add?

No, sir. Only that if I find that Pile On is still hanging around Houston when this thing comes ashore, I am going to personally tap dance on his head.

Thank you, Captain, but that won't be necessary. Pile On's smart enough to take care of his family and let God take care of the rest. But I would like to add that should P.O. find he is in need of anything, I trust that he knows some good people to turn to. One of them in Virginia.

That's all folks. Keep Texas in your prayers. And watch us do things right.