Marriage and the Times

More American women are living without a husband than with one, according to what many experts call an extraordinary analysis of census results by the New York Times.

The dissection by the Times (which has been repeated in more places than you can whip a pencil at) concluded that in 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

“This is yet another of the inexorable signs that there is no going back to a world where we can assume that marriage is the main institution that organizes people’s lives,” said Prof. Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research group. “Most of these women will marry, or have married. But on average, Americans now spend half their adult lives outside marriage.

Emily Zubiks, a totally adult woman and band member who does volunteer work at her local secondary school, said she was not surprised by the trend. “A lot of my friends are not married and stuff. I don’t even know anyone who is like married or anything.” Ms. Zubiks who has gone steady a couple of times told us “marriage is just not where I am at right now.”

Brenda Parths, an editor of a free publication that covers issues important to students who has never in her whole entire life been married, said, “I like boys, I mean, like, they’re okay, I guess, I like to pass correspondence with them in the hall, but like, marriage is totally gay mister.”

Posted by presidential candidate Pile On®, who by the way, has his own exploratory committee!!