Friday, December 10, 2004

Friday Vespers at the Institute

Join us at the Institute for a beer this afternoon.

Pub owners have discovered the best way to get patrons to leave at closing time, play a Cliff Richards song.

A beer delivery truck driver took a truckload of beer to a neighborhood in Indianappolis and told the residents to help themselves after he was fired. The police were tipped off when someone tried to sell a liquor store owner a pallet of beer. The police were surprised there was any left. I am not, it was Miller Lite after all.

A new study contradicts the notion that drinking beer kills brain cells.

This could turn the buffalo theory of beer on it's head.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the lowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

The Institute reminds you to practice "safe" beer drinking.