Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Dissin' Of The Jennings

The following is a dramatization. Actual events may have differed, but we doubt it.

Photo via Canadian Celebrities.com

Phone rings.....ring, ring, ring ring.

Allawi : Yes hello, you have reached interim Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi.

Peter Jennings Personal Assistant (PJPA) : Hello, get me Prime Minister Allawi.

Allawi: Didn't I just say you have reached him?

PJPA: Oh, I am sorry, I just assumed you were important enough to have someone.....uh...never mind.

Allawi: For what is the purpose of this call, I am busy, we have these election things you know.

PJPA: Yes, yes, elections, right, I am with ABC News and I am calling to schedule an interview with Peter Jennings tomorrow at 2:15 eastern standard time.

Allawi: Was that a question?

PJPA: I did say ABC News didn't I? American Broadcasting?

Allawi: I thought standard time was in the summer?

PJPA: Okay then 2:15 it is.

Allawi: I did say I was busy didn't I, perhaps after the election we can schedule something.

PJPA: You do know who Peter Jennings is don't you?

Allawi: Yes, yes, I was in Chicago once. I saw his little show, has trouble saying the letter "r".

PJPA: Uh nnnnoooooooooooooo, that would be Brokaw.

Allawi: Well, you all look alike to me.

PJPA: I am talking about Peter Jennings, Peter f**king Jennings man. You do not want to disappoint Peter. To disappoint Peter would be a slap in the face to all that is American. It would be a slap to the soldiers who have fought in Iraq to provide you with your little job. You might as well take a dump on an apple pie and throw it at person singing the national anthem on the opening day of baseball season man.

Allawi: Let me take this opportunity to confirm that the I will not be available for an interview with ABC over the elections period. I look forward to a more constructive exchange and a more mature relationship with ABC once this election period is over.

PJPA: I think what we have here is a misunderstanding.