Monday, February 07, 2005

Monday's Feelings

Because facts don't matter. What is important is how you feel about them.

Asshats of the Week:

It takes two to tango sometimes. The Asshats of the Week Award goes to two pathetic excuses for their profession, Wanita Renea Young, who is a pathetic excuse for a human being, and Judge Doug Walker, who is a pathetic excuse for a Judge. Judge Walker awarded Young $900 in her lawsuit against two Colorado teenagers for knocking on Young's door to give her cookies. Yes, you read that right. The two teens decided to skip a dance (and it must have been voluntary, because they should have no problem finding dates) and bake cookies for their neighborhood. When they knocked on Young's door, she became hysterical and did not answer the door. They left the cookies and went on. Young later went to the hospital and sued the girls. After the Judge's incredible ruling (this must have been some sort of small claims court), Young responded: "I hope those girls learned a lesson."

Yeah, no good deed goes unpunished.

Dems Ignoring The Base?

The Democrats, the party of choice, liberty and freedom, continue to fight President Bush's Social Security reform that would give more choice, liberty and freedom to the people. But it appears that many people, including minority Democrats, want just that.

Let's hope that they are heard.

Now for the really big game.

Now that we got the mild curiosity that is the Super Bowl out of the way, we can finally have a party for the real season finale: The Pro Bowl.

Who's having a Pro Bowl Party?

Super Bowl Advertising it isn't: Take a break with a bowl of additive-free, chunky soup you can almost eat.

This just in:
Cheney may run for President in 2008. He said this on Fox News Sunday:
"If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve," or not only no, but "Hell no." I've got my plans laid out. I'm going to serve this president for the next four years, and then I'm out of here. By 2009, I'll be 68 years old. And I've still got a lot of rivers I'd like to fish and time I'd like to spend with my grandkids, and so this is my last tour. I don't plan to run for anything.
The equivocation makes you wonder, doesn't it.

Bush proposes spending cuts, hates children.

Bush finally has proposed cutting some spending and programs. Of course, Democrats will whine about it, even though a few weeks ago they were claiming that Bush had no fiscal responsibility. Expect the media to go out and find two people devastated by one of the proposed cuts in an effort to make Bush look evil and heartless. Of course, the proposed budget, which does not include the WOT or Social Security reform expenses, is $2.5 Trillion. When is enough enough?

Many of the cuts target education. Gee, Bush must hate children.

How do you spell idiot?

Students at Lincoln, R.I. schools were told that they would not get to participate in the national spelling bee competition. The losers, you see, would be "left behind." Public pressure has reversed that decision. Now we can determine who are winners, and who are losers.

I never won so much as a class spelling bee; I know that is shocking.

Just what we needed - insults with ambiguity: Bird Brains Much More Powerful Than Thought.

Police Stories:

A prisoner is strangled in his locked cell. He has one cellmate. This may seem like a baffling case, but don't worry. We have the best police minds on it. Ah, here is their conclusion: Police: Cellmate Is Suspect In Lawton Inmate Stabbing.

The headline says stabbing. The article says strangled. Maybe they solved the wrong crime.

Advice you can apply to your daily life: Bad behavior can bring unwanted attention from police.

Is our criminal code becoming a little too confusing: Law enforcement officer arrested and charged with -- posing as a law enforcement officer.

July 4th is worst day for deadly car crashes. I much prefer my deadly car crashes on Easter.

Military Stories:

Breaking News: Al-Kaaaaduh Calls for Holy War.

Boosting moral takes on new dimensions: Marines Miss January Goal for Recruits.

Now, how do you feel?