Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday Vespers

Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Friday Vespers here at the world renowned The Ebb & Flow Institute. We have an action packed riveting show of riveted packed action planned for you today. So grab a beer and take a load off. Take a load for free. Yes, take a load off, and you put the load right on me.

In our talking points memo we have.....EU warns Iran of being referred to UN Security Council.

Oooooohhh, you wait until Kofi gets home, you little mullahs are gonna get a strongly worded vetoed resolution!!!

Talking points memo--point 2. GUILT BY ASSOCIATION HAS DEMS WORRIED

SEN. Hillary Rodham Clinton's pals stress that she's not a target in the criminal case against former chief fund-raiser David Rosen — but Democrats have the jitters because she could still pay a hefty political price.

I don't know where the author of this piece has been but legal proceedings have never been much of a problem for the Clintons. I thought they were going to talk about her appearance with Newt Gingrich to discuss health care.

In the Impact Segment Oscar winning actress Rene Zellweger has married talent challenged formulaic country singing male model Kenny Chesney. Best wishes kids.

In our most ridiculous item of the day segment we have two items. So we should actually call it the most ridiculous items of the day, but we don't want to start a precedent. Some days are slow ridiculous item days. Then where would we be?

Songwriter sues Britney Spears.

Someone wants credit for writing a Spears tune?

Microsoft to offer anti-virus protection, "Windows One Care".

Please, there will be enough for everyone, proceed in an orderly fashion.

**Commercial Break**

This is where you go to the official pub of The Ebb & Flow Institute and order another beer from our friendly waitstaff. But please, be kind and courteous, we have heard reports that some of you have not been treating the staff with the proper respect. Don't make the ladies go all medieval on you.

Welcome back, now the back of the book segment.

Mere suggestion of drink can trigger 'beer goggles'.

New research indicates that the mere suggestion of alcohol may act as an aphrodisiac. "What is most surprising is that mere expectancy can influence perception," said Markus Denzler, of the International University Bremen, Germany, and a co-author of the research report.

The new study indicates that [what] people expect from alcohol can be produced by simple exposure to flashes of alcohol-related words on a computer screen. Ronald Friedman, a psychologist at the University of Missouri, Columbia, and his colleagues tested the idea on 82 male undergraduate students.

So, in the interest of increasing our knowledge of beer and beer related issues we have decided to test this theory.

Heterosexual men and lesbians click here , hetero women, gay men and those otherwise attracted to men click here and report back in the comments. Give us a numerical rating from 1-5.
1 being totally turned off and 5 being you are feeling tingly in areas that can't be mentioned in polite company.

Ahhh, I love science.