Sunday, December 30, 2007

Tom Tancredo Named Mexican of the Year

MEXICO CITY — Because everybody in Mexico "has felt the tidal wave of his presence," Tom Tancredo has been named the Mexican of the Year by the El Heraldo de Mexico City.

"We can't seem to live with him, and if we can live without him, nobody's figured out how," the report posted on the El Heraldo web site on Saturday said.

The newspaper identified Representative Tancredo's failed run for president as perhaps the largest story in the nation in 2007. The newspaper cited Tancredo's unwavering position to end the hemorrhaging of Mexico's labor force into the United States as the main reason for their controversial choice.

Mexico cannot hope to build a strong and growing economy while a large portion of its work force is lured across the border to the United States. A growing healthy economy needs workers and the Americans are taking ours and in return they allow small sums of devalued American currency to be wired back to us. Mexican schools are losing pupils to the US. Our hospital beds are empty while our citizens receive health care in the emergency rooms of America. Our social services workers are idle while their American counterparts bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.

Representative Tancredo is the greatest champion of a strong and growing Mexico.

Friday, December 28, 2007

One Sentence Guest Editorial--Islamic Rage Boy

The glorious martyrdom of Benazir Bhutto is a great victory for Islam over the insidious western influences of democracy and secularism that are being used by the imperialist American regime to oppress the people of the Islamic world and was likely carried out by the Mossad in an attempt to embarrass Islam.*

Views expressed in One Sentence Guest editorials are the author's own and are not intended to reflect the views of the staff and management of The Ebb & Flow Institute.

*The ALL CAPS of this editorial were removed to appeal to a more insidious western audience.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Check Out This Internets

If you have time this holiday season, we here at the Institute suggest you check out the Internets. It's something. You can find information on things like what your city council is doing, or exchange food cooking recipes with other people interested in food cooking recipe exchange.

Thousands of people are probably checking out the Internets right now. Thousands of people getting information on who knows what (I don't know what). Maybe they are chatting with like minded individuals in what are known as "chatting rooms" where people engage in high minded discourse.

The Internets has grown in popularity and experts believe it will continue to do so. These same expert peoples say that within ten years every town in America may have it's own computer hooked up on the Internets grid.

I predict that one day soon, with a few creative keystrokes one will be able to find pictures of pretty girls on the Internets.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The Girls of the Institute...

...wish you a very merry Christmas.
UPDATE: By that of course they specifically mean a "very merry Christmas" not to be confused with an ordinary merry Christmas.
UPDATED UPDATE: Not that anyone here at the Institute is telling you what to do. If you prefer to have an average Christmas or even a semi-crappy Christmas, feel free to do so.