Wednesday, November 23, 2005

CODE PINK Completes Acquisition of Sheehan Corp.

SAN FRANCISCO - CODE PINK Inc. on Monday completed its acquisition of Sheehan Corp., creating the largest truth to food product communications company in the United States.

By absorbing Crawford Texas based Ma Sheehan, CODE PINK'S tentacles will now reach into every major segment of the U.S. cuisine communications market. The crown jewel of the deal is Sheehan's brand identity and media relations business division.

For Ma Sheehan, the merger saves the company from a potentially bleak future of declining media market share in the face of stiff competition from new truth to chow communications companies or the emergence of alternative icons.

"We are ready to meet the needs of a new generation of customers in a new era of articulating factuality to nutritional substances," Medea Benjamin, chairwomyn and CEO of CODE PINK Inc., said in a statement.

The new company will be known as code sheehan Inc. and will start trading under the ticker symbol "L" on the New York Stock Exchange on Dec. 1. In the interim, it will trade under the existing "CP" symbol.

Photo of Ma Sheehan speaking truth to Pizza unapologetically ripped off from John @ Wuzzadem.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

House Rejects Martha's Cut & Run Thanksgiving Proposal

The House of Representatives overwhelmingly rejected last night a proposal to withdraw troops from Iraq for the Thanksgiving holiday, after two days of over-hyped media coverage of Martha Stewart's new book, Surrender Baghdad for the Holidays.

In a lopsided 403 to 3 vote, Democrats showed they were unwilling to back Martha's Turkey day pullout proposal - even though many voiced support of her anti-war during the holidays announcement earlier this week.

"Our military chefs have done everything that has been asked of them, they cannot be expected to prepare an appropriate, fun, family holiday meal. I think our troops should try to entertain at home, they should try to cook something really delicious," Martha, a 37-year Media Mogul veteran, said Thursday.

"It's time to bring them home," Martha said.

Though the American media ballyhooed Martha's comments as an indication that support for war during the holiday season is collapsing at home, Friday night's vote showed there was almost no backing in Congress for such a move.

Only three left-wing anti-war during the holidays radicals voted for Martha's plan - Reps. Cynthia McKinney, Jose Serano and Robert Wexler.

Friday morning Arizona Rep. J.D. Hayworth began lobbying for a vote on a "statement of clarity" on where the House stands on war during the holidays.

"J.D. came up with a great idea, and took it to the (GOP) conference, and then was persistent to take it to leadership," Hayworth's Republican colleague, Rep. Rick Renzi, told the Arizona Republic.

"Saddam Hussein has been disposed, he is behind bars, our troops can use his many presidential palaces to have a first class Thanksgiving celebration this year," Hayworth argued. "Dare we now deprive our troops of this once in a lifetime opportunity? I don't believe the American people will stand for it."

Democrats described the vote on Martha's proposal as a political stunt and quickly decided to vote against it in an attempt to drain it of significance.

"To ask us to vote on the position we have taken is a disgrace," declared House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif. "The rankest of politics and the absence of any sense of shame," added Rep. Steny Hoyer of Maryland, the No. 2 House Democrat.

War during the holidays opponents were further enraged when Ohio Republican Rep. Jean Schmidt stood to announce that she'd just taken a call from a Marine chef in Iraq.

"He asked me to send Congress a message: stay the course, we can put on a hell of a spread for our troops" Ms. Schmidt said. "He also asked me to send domestic diva Martha a message: that cowards cut and run in the face of feeding large groups of people a holiday meal, Marines never do."

Democrats erupted in anger - and at one point, Tennessee Rep. Harold Ford was seen looking very emotional in front of a C-SPAN camera.

In the end, however, even their rejection of Martha's pullout plan was nearly unanimous.

When asked about the vote, Martha said it was regrettable but recommended the troops take in some of Baghdad's terrific museums, galleries and theaters. She went on to rave about her tour of the Mesopotamian Museum of Natural History last year.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A Brief Editorial From the Desk of Pile

I wrote a post about this today. Thankfully, before I posted it, I happened to read it and discovered that it was completely lacking in funny. What some people call the most deliberative body in the world (why they call it that I have not a clue), has displayed an incredible lack of class, vision, courage and grasp of history.

President Bush has been resolute and consistent regarding the WOT, for his own party to hand a political victory to the Democrats is bad enough; but more importantly to show the world weakness and encourage our enemies to hold out, strengthened in the knowledge that our will to fight will eventually dissipate is unforgivable. To do this while Bush is out of the country just reeks of Senate.

Why anyone would question President Bush for not wanting to pick a political fight with Senate Republicans having his back is beyond me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Intellectual Property Theft Is Not Child's Play

As the legal presence and Chair of the Redundant Department of Redundancy here at the Ebb & Flow Institute, one of my limited duties is to ensure the protection of the goodwill, trademarks and patents of the Institute.

It has recently come to my attention that Noggin, a TV channel allegedly for children, will begin a show next week called Ebb and Flo. This show will feature a little girl and her trusty dog who live on a river with their mother (see picture at right). Apparently, the father is a malcontent deadbeat dad. Aren't all TV dads nowadays?

The girl and her dog get into all kinds of hilarious and heart touching adventures.

In other words, except for the deadbeat dad thing, it is apparently based upon the life of either Onlette or KJita. The name, of course, is clearly ripped off of this web site.

Noggin apparently believes that the mere omission of a single letter "W" (no doubt removed by commie bedwetting children's story writers as an effort to slight our President) can overcome the obvious theft of Ebb & Flow Institute's intellectual property. As the Church of Scientology has taught us, a single letter change does not matter. The confusion is obvious, and this abuse will not stand.

A cease and desist letter will be forwarded to Noggin in the near future. Unless you have a young child in the house, we encourage you to boycott all things Noggin until this controversy is resolved. If you have a young child in the house, well never mind. It is a really good channel for young children. Still, you should grumble when turning the channel to Noggin.

Cross posted at The Cheese.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

French Protests Continue for 10th Straight Day

North African Leaders Struggle to Address Root Causes of French Violence

Successive immigration schemes by governments across North Africa to fill their slumping economies demand for idle overpaid workers has government officials reeling to find the root causes of French violence after 10 straight days of riots. Decades of urban redevelopment plans have not rid the African suburbs of their Third World feel. Some high-cost housing projects that once were seen as models of urban progression, with heating, bidets, and tree lined streets, have degenerated into no-go zones where even police ride through without stopping, windows rolled up.

The problem is not immigration per se, but a failure of of the native population to be assimilated into the superior French culture. Leaders across Africa admit reluctantly that they have been slow to provide their immigrant population with stuffy sidewalk cafe's and unpleasant over roasted coffee beverages.

Nations from Morocco to Egypt need more than a police response to rioting. They needs a humane response as well, one that signals that they, as the poorest and most backward nations on earth, care about the benefits and vacation time of the tens of thousands of more fortunate people throughout the region.

"We can no longer afford to be seen as callous and uncaring" stated a Libyan government spokesperson. "We need a concerted, new effort with all the diplomatic and economic means at our disposal to help resolve the disputes that our French immigrants have."

The Libyan government announced plans for a nationwide three week vacation next august. The entire country will spend several weeks together at summer camps in the Sahara, bunking together, eating and playing sports with "the more recently immigrated Libyans." Most important, they will also spend several hours a day engaged in small discussion groups. They are calling them "coexistence" groups.

A French protester stops bicycle traffic in Morocco.