Wednesday, March 30, 2005

spd rdr comes (almost) clean

My last "Interview Game" question posed by Cassandra has caused me such pause that it could go on forever if'n I just don't pull the damned trigger.

1. Has a book or movie ever changed the way you looked at the world? What was it, and why?
The Candidates are(in no particular order):

Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
The Prince - Machiavelli
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
Five Chinese Brothers - Claire Huchet Bishop
Laws Harsh as Tigers - Lucy E. Sayler
The Art of War - Sun-tzu
The Forgotten Soldier -Guy Sajer
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

I can't choose.
I don't know why.
I just know that I can't choose.
You choose. Pick the one I should defend.
I'll come clean.

EFI News In Brief With Your Host Pile On®

No I don't want you to spank me, it's good for me.

I have an idea for those of you with an entrepreneurial spirit but have never found the right business to go into. Russian researchers have determined that spanking can be more effective than exercise in battling ailments ranging from depression to alcoholism. Think of all those people that don't have someone to spank them properly. You know where I am going, now get out there and seek your fortune.

I had wanted to post a picture to go with this story, but durnitall, I could not find a single S&M picture anywhere on the net.


Doctors deny Pope happy goodstuff

The Vatican medical staff is denying Pope John Paul II what is natural and painless. A nice long deep sleep full of happy dreams. After all he has done for humanity, why would they deny him this euphoria?


Something has come to my attention.

It has come to my attention that many of my readers are pachydermophiles. I appreciate all of my readers, the weird ones perhaps the most. I give you this, to do with as you will.


Bad Daddy

It occurred to me that the Onlette™ might be asking me to regurgitate food into her mouth to help her meet her nourishment requirements.

Does that make me a bad daddy?


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Interview Game (continued)

Cassandra, an erstwhile elephant and sports car enthusiast (when not bathing) has corraled me into playing "The Interview Game," whereby she gets to ask me 5 questions, and I get to respond on a blog. As this is the only blog that will let me anywhere near membership, I beg the Institute's forgiveness for diverting attention from more important issues... such as whether women in prison have good beer.

I also get to ask five questions to any member of the vast horde of dedicated E&F readers brave enough to write "interview me" in the comments section below. That lucky person will then in turn answer those questions on their blog and ask the next idiot in line for a volunteer interviewee, and so forth and so forth ad infinitum or until the Cubs win the World Series. I can make up the questions or swipe them from more original people, but I promise that they won't have anything to do with "erectile disfunction" or shingles, so don't be a chicken.

Here we go with Cass' questions and my replies:

1. Has a book or movie ever changed the way you looked at the world? What was it, and why?

2.You are absolutely alone in an open field with the politician of your choice – what do you do next? You may take any supplies you can carry on your person.
Let's see:
Open field...check.
Teddy Kennedy...check.
My only problem is that I just can't decide whether to bring a classic white ash Louisville Slugger, or go high-tech for the big occasion with an Easton Triple 8 CXN Connexion Z-Core. Either way, "baseball" is next on the agenda.

3. Which of your five senses gives you the greatest pleasure?
Taste. Hands down. I mean smell is pretty good. Baking bread, spring meadows, ocean breezes, that cute young secretary on 14 when she gets in the elevator....hmmmm... But then there's a lot of bad smelling stuff too (which we will not discuss), therefore smell can't possibly provide me the greatest pleasure. Neither can touch. Oh sure, touch feels pretty good when your rolling around with your partner...but have you ever smashed your thumb with a hammer? Touch hurts! Nope, not touch. Hearing? (Eh?) Don't get me wrong, I love music, and hearing is really good for that. But does good music make up for the sound of somebody else's screaming brat in the row behind you on a five hour flight? Hearing has too much to overcome for it to ever be considered the source of my greatest pleasure.

So it's down to sight and taste. The sight of Venus rising in the morning past feathery clouds vs. the taste of baby back ribs, rubbed and smoked and tenderly basted for hours, set down in piles next to a cold, handcrafted beer. It's a toughie...and then I hear my stomach. Taste is the one sense that doesn't assault you. You choose the time and manner to indulge that sense. It's the only sense that you can control.
Food tastes good. All of it.
Taste wins.

4. If you could live in a foreign country for a year, which one would you choose? Why?

Another tough question. Do you pick a place that you've been and feel comfortable about staying for a year? Or someplace new, and completely off of your socio-political map. I guess I am showing my age that I finally chose safe and secure Italy. I have been there many times (although not in some years), but still find it (along with Spain and Greece) the most intriguing countries. I can ski in the Dolemites, bask in the warm Mediterranean sun, drink deeply from the Tuscan groves and still root around in a history that rivals any civilzation. Music and food, architecture and art, and dark eyed Italian women who might just drop an eyelid and make me shudder like a schoolboy.

5. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? This is a serious question.
No it isn't. No one could seriously put Daffy Duck in the same league with the Bugster. The Duck is a stoooge, a LOSER. He never completes any of his plans but instead runs off blathering insane nonsense with his beak 90 degrees off-center after being blown up for the 52nd time in his feeble attempt to de-throne Bugs. Daffy is a negative character, always with an uncalled-for "despicable" sloppily spittled at his rivals to deflect his own incompetance. Bugs never even notices the slander of the retrobate duck, but presses on with his programs. Daffy is the suicide bomber we all hate, except he does no harm to anyone but himself, and even that isn't fatal. Bugs, on the other hand is upbeat, self-confident, patriotic, strong-willed and knows how to handle gremlins. In short, Bugs is a Republican, Daffy is a Democrat. Lame duck indeed.

* This question has nearly confounded me. I think I have an answer, but I am vacillating. I promise to post the answer to this question shortly, and thereby ensure your everlasting boredom. As a teaser: "Atlas Shrugged" loses.

Headlines Tell The Story

Over the last few weeks I have collected some headlines, some found by me, most by others, and I thought I would share them you. Who writes this stuff?

This is what happens when you elect fish to run your county.
Sharks Force Broward Beach To Close -- headline, Local 10 (TV station), March 29

Why we have experts:
Early classes could deprive teens of sleep, experts say -- headline,, March 22

Experts Agree Child, 4, Can't Comprehend Effects of Shooting -- headline, Houston Chronicle, March 15 (cite no longer available)

Youth Weight May Lead to Obesity -- headline, Harvard Crimson, March 15

Why we read books:
Hitler Was Personally Behind Holocaust, Book Says, headline, Reuters, March 22

Why we have studies:
Study: X Chromosome Could Account for Differences Between Sexes -- headline,, March 16

Malt Liquor Drink of Homeless and Unemployed--Study -- headline, Reuters, March 14

Mental Decline Linked to Alzheimer's -- headline, Al-Jazeera Web site, March 9

His lawyer wanted him to be a strong witness.
Selig Willing to Testify on Steroids -- headline,, March 14

When will the Gorilla/Monkey partisanship end?
Primates Divided Over Royal Wedding -- headline, Church of England Newspaper, March 18

Why Pirates always write so big.
Buccaneers Ink Bolden -- headline, Local 6, March 29

It is the best thing ever for comedy, he said.
Comedy Camp Leader Testifies in Jacko Trial -- headline,, March 29

All right -- who's the narc?
Gruesome Chimp Attack Doesn't Surprise Experts -- headline, Arizona Republic, March 5

If this is optimism, maybe I am an optimist.
County Hopes to Prepare for the Worst -- headline, Longview (Texas) News-Journal, March 16

He isn't a very cooperative corpse.
Slaying Victim a Reluctant Witness -- headline, Philadelphia Inquirer, March 17

I got mine for free.
U.S. May Restrict Sale of Social Security Numbers -- headline, Associated Press, March 15

Getting a Tiger into grad school is tough.
Tigers tested before getting past Duke -- headline, Salt Lake Tribune, March 29

I thought the purpose was to mourn the victims.
Funerals are held for shooting victims -- subheadline, Chicago Tribune, March 18

Glad we cleared that up.
Leaders Learn to Be Better Leaders Through Leadership Program -- headline, Woodstock (Ill.) News, March 1

A good friend will be straight with you.
Woman Accused of Naked Dog Wrestling: Friend Says Woman Has Been Acting Strangely Recently -- headline and subheadline, Internet Broadcasting System, March 4

Finally, race and death in Detroit:

Blacks hurt most by death?
Blacks' Higher Death Rate Blamed on Racial Divide --headline, Detroit News, March 10

Black men's death rate exceeds 100%?
Black Men's Death Rate Exceeds That of Whites -- headline, Detroit Free Press, March 10

Monday, March 28, 2005

Feminists And Islamists Form Alliance To Slam Patriarchal Pork.

Feminism, Islamonutterism and controversy are on the surge as these disparate movements find common ground in opposition to pork, oppressive swine and oinker by-products.

Black and white flyers have been distributed on the campus of the University of New Hampshire and in the Mosques of Scotland, depicted a drawing of a woman grasping onto a hammer with "FEMINISM" on the handle. In the middle of the female symbol fists were clenched and space above the woman read: "If I had a hammer...I'd SMASH Pork Patriarchy." A bubble by her face said, "I FOUND IT!"

Satellite imaging technology estimates that as many as forty people may have attended a Smash Pork Patriarchy rally on the UNH campus.

The event, featuring poetry readings, skits, monologues, praying, and an open microphone for ululating, was designed to give women a space to share their experiences of porcine oppression in a comfortable setting, Megan Snit, a member of the FLF (Feminist Liberation Front), said.

In Scotland a pub owner who was displaying an offensive sign advertising a lot that had been set-aside for his customers to pork in, has come under fire from insurgent feminists and their new found allies in the Islamic community. The sign, next to a parking lot said "Porking Yard" and was deliberately provoking to the Muslim community said Somali-born Khalil Abdi who has appointed himself neighborhood warden on the lookout for provoking provocations. "And of course it bothers women for some reason, so we join with FLF to smash this affront to our delicate religious and feminine sensibilities" uttered Abdi.

I find great joy in threatening men's lives, said one anonymous woman attending the FLF rally in New Hampshire. This new alliance with the Islamists is totally cool. I love flicking off frat brothers and plotting the pig patriarchy's death. I hate men because they are men, because I see them for what they are: misogynistic, sexist, oppressive and absurdly pathetic beings who only serve to pollute and contaminate this world with war, abuse, oppression, rape and unclean meat products" the anonymous source went on. Meagan Snit cut in, "we are learning much from our Islamist, next week we plan a ritual swine castration live on our website".

The alliance between radical man hating feminists and radical western man hating Islamists poses some ideological challenges admitted Khalil Abdi, "but" he said, " gone are the days of porcine paterfamilias hegemony, we will gut this unclean pig from the inside out, whatever, the streets will run with unclean blood". Besides stated Khalil, "since when has any group with liberation in their name stood for anything of the kind"?


Anyway, that is how I read this. Admittedly it could be a combination of the barleywine and sleep decimation.

UPDATE: I just realized Cassandra posted on part of this story yesterday. I am not sure how I missed it, but as you might expect she has a slightly different take on events. It is probably gender bias at work.

Others Join The Cause

As you know, the Ebb & Flow Institute is very concerned about the conditions for women in prison. It isn't all pillow fights and cruel sexy wardens. It turns out that we are not the only bloggers concerned about this very important issue. Apparently, Chris Muir is also thinking about the arduous life of one particular woman recently in prison. We thank him for supporting the cause.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

A Little Word Puzzle

I've always like certain types of puzzles or mental challenges. Not that I'm always particularly good at them. They don't always adapt so well to the Internet with the ability to Google so much information. The last one I tried, I thought went over pretty well, so here is one more.

Again this is not a contest or race, and is pretty much self revealing (you will know if you got the right answer). That in mind just give the one word answer if you think you've got it.

If someone doesn't jump the gun, I will post an explanation of the answer later

Which word in the list below doesn't belong with the others


Friday, March 25, 2005

P.T. Barnum Slept Here

Those curious enough to venture off the sports and op-ed pages might recall that last December the piece "Fountain," pictured above, won the Turner prize for "most influential modern art work of all time". This should really come as no surprise. After all, putting a urinal on a pedestal in 1917 was pretty much an act of unparalleled chutzpah for it's day. The artist found the urinal in a plumbing shop, signed it "R. Mutt" and presented it at an exhibition in, of all places, New York. At first, the display was considered "vulgar" and "unoriginal" and the organizers of the exhibition voted to remove the display. But then it was discovered that the artist behind the piece was not the unknown "R. Mutt" but none other than the famous French master Marcel Duchamp. Suddenly, the art world was shocked by the piece's simplicity, brilliance, and force. It didn't politely knock at the door of one's sense of art, it kicked it down. It was the jagged edge that cut customary expectations to ribbons. It was ART writ large and such a harbinger of things to come that even today it remains the subject of heady discussion amongst artful academians.

Or it was a joke.

Yesterday's Wall Steet Journal carried a letter from one Alice Goldfarb Marquis of La Jolla, California. As the author of two biographies of the artist, Ms. Marquis claims that Mr. Duchamp "never intended "Fountain" to become a model for art of the future or to serve as the centerpiece for a history of art since 1900." She goes on to recount how another of Mr. Duchamp's masterpieces, "Nude Descending a Staircase," was nothing more than a joke that the artist played to annoy his siblings. Both are now enshrined as artworks for the ages.

I am reminded of the words of another breakthrough artist, Johhny Rotten of the Sex Pistols: "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?"

Yes, by golly, I have.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Terri Schindler--Lessons Learned

This will mercifully be my final post on the whole tragedy that is unfolding in Florida. There are people smarter than me that are already looking for the lessons to be learned from what has happened. You can find them here, and here, and Mr. Reynolds gives a "I think they might be right" here.

I don't think they are wrong, but I think they are missing the larger lesson. If everyone goes out and gets a living will after this that would be great. Wonderful. But I don't think it solves the problem.

Yes, most of us, if faced with the prospect of being brain dead with no hope of recovery would not choose to be kept alive by artificial means. That is a no brainer. But what about the gray areas, where we don't really know, as in this case. How many of us have said, when viewing a person who is paralyzed from the neck down, "I would rather be dead than to live my life like that". That is easy to say when you are healthy, but when actually faced with that situation you might find you have a sudden interest in drawing with a pencil in your pie hole or in studying string theory physics. You don't know what quality of life you are willing to accept until you are faced with it. In Terri's case, we don't really know what her level of cognitive function is, but I suspect it is a good deal more than her husband wants us to believe.

Are you going to write a living will to cover every possible contingency and for every degree of life quality?

No, I think the major lesson in this is to surround yourself with people who love you and will act in your best interest should the time come. If you have them, do everything you can to keep them, if you don't, find them.

Another lesson learned is that a Circuit Court Judge in the state of Florida is more powerful than the governor, and a US District Court Judge can defy the will of the Congress and the President, with absolutely no repercussions. That is something we are going to have to come to terms with and deal with in the future.

A final lesson for me as a blogger is that there are some bloggers that are so hip and cool that they look at a situation that is being written about all over the b-sphere and they go against the grain. Yep, they got it going on, they look down their noses at people like me and say what I am doing is morally bankrupt and my outrage is artificial. They are so big picture that they can't be bogged down by caring about the suffering of one human, they are concerned about everything.

And damn it, they are going to google bait every porn surfer until all the children of the world are fed.

When Have You Made It? When Your Name Is A Verb

Pile On, Resident of the John Locke Chair here at the Ebb & Flow Institute, made a comment in this week's WTW about Judge Robert Bork. It made me think about the verb he helped coin, "to Bork" which means essentially to be roughly treated and then fail at a Senate confirmation hearing. Other people have had their names becomes verbs, almost always people with political significance. For example, one may "Clintonize" a word when one parses its meaning so finely as to say one thing but mean another. Or one may engage in a Lewinsky, which used to be illegal in some states before Lawrence v. Texas was decided. And of course there is the blogosphere famous version, "to Fisk" someone or their column.

So, I ask you, what other names are there that transcended into the world of verbs? What other names are there that should make this transition. Please provide a definition with your use of the name.

Discuss amongst yourselves, but do it here in the comments section so I can eavesdrop.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

WTW--The Right To Die White Trash Style

Tara Poche, A Fort Bend County Texas woman has become an icon and hero of right to die activists when she was left with no choice but to smother her husband and then set their house on fire, after doctors declared her husband in a permanent quadriplegic state or PQS. Sterling Poche, had been in a state of PQS since an auto accident while serving in the army in 1990.

Tara Poche, 35, speaking before a grassroots organization called A Spouse's Right To Have Their Spouse Kill Them When They Are In a Permanent State Of Inconvenience other wise known as ASRTHTSKTWTAIAPSOI, thrilled the gathered throngs when she stated, "my husband had the right for me to kill him, he warn't gonna get no better. He don' tol' me as much. We was sittin around watching an after school TV special when he says to me, he says, honey if I am ever in an auto accident that leaves me in a wheelchair don't you be keepin' me alive by any extraordinary measures like getting me something to eat. I don't want to be a livin that way even if I am getting a $6400.00 monthly disability check. You just smother me or something, even if I scream, that's what I want".

"So I don' smothered him. He didn't scream out in pain or nuthin' like that there, it was a peaceful gentle way of a gettin' your card punched. I am gettin sick and damn tired of these bible thumpin busy bodies coming down here and tellin' me, you a goin' ta hell, you killed a man and you are gonna burn in the fires of hell. This here is a private matter, a family matter, you politicians up there in Washington can just keep your noses out of my families business too. We got a little thing down here in Texas called the right to privacy, it is in the constitution, I think they call it the ninth amendment or something."

Before Tara was whisked away from her adoring death lobby fans, returning to her boyfriend, the father of her two children she was asked, why she set the house on fire after she lovingly smothered her husband? "Oh", she stated, "that's just something I have always been a wantin' ta do".


For more completely accurate WTW news, visit these other fine blog folk.

basil's blog BOBO BLOGGER Cranky Neocon Cry Freedom Dangerous Logic Fistful of Fortnights Hector Vex's Infotainment It Is What It Is MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Rachael Ray Redux Riehl World View Six Meat Buffet Sortapundit The Ebb & Flow Institute The Jawa Report Toner Mishap Vince Aut Morire

The Unruly Law -- Georgia's Green Tree Frog

As you know, I am a stickler for the rule of law. I know that you think there are some important legislative issues out there. Congress has passed a bill directed at the Terri Schiavo tragedy and is considering Social Security reform. Georgia has issues of its own, trying to balance a budget and reform tort law as we know it. But all of that is small potatoes, with a little garlic, compared to a bill just passed in Georgia.

I recently learned, however, that there is bill pending in the Georgia legislature trying to make the Green Tree Frog the State Amphibian. The bill has passed and house and senate, and just awaits Gov. Sonny Purdue's signature.

The first thing I wondered was why we never had such a designation before. We do, after all, have a state side dish (grits), vegetable (Vidalia sweet onion) and crop (peanut). And I think grits and a baked vidalia onion would go great with frog legs in a peanut sauce.

So, why no state amphibian before? The article answers that question.
In fall 2002, a fourth-grade class, jointly taught by Ruth Pinson and
Marilyn McLean, realized while studying government and science that Georgia
could not claim an official amphibian. The class drew up the bill, and several
lawmakers from their area worked for its passage.

The bill foundered in past years, when the Legislature was divided
between a Democratic House and Republican Senate.
Apparently, it was a partisan issue. Since Georgia is now all Republican, and the bill passed, I must assume that it was the Democrats that stopped this bill in 2002-2004. Why? Do Green Tree Frogs tend to vote Republican? Did they jump in the lap of a famous Democrat one time and embarrass him?

And what about this "amphibian" label. Do we really trust a bunch of fourth graders to know that this frog is amphibious? If it lives in a tree, that would kind of cut against the water aspect of this frog, now wouldn't it.

I think this needs to go back to committee.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Rule Of Law--Terri Schindler (Schiavo)

U.S. District Judge James Whittemore, has refused to overturn a Florida state court ruling and allow the reinsertion of a feeding tube for Terri Schindler(I refuse to call her by her husbands name). This comes after congress and the President passed and signed legislation (a law) that ordered her case to be given a full review in the federal courts. Judge Whittemore heard two hours of testimony and then waited all night to make his ruling that he was not going to obey the law passed by our duly elected representatives. Was that enough time to review years of court proceedings like the legislation intended?

Here at the Institute we are big proponents of the rule of law, without it society breaks down into chaos and corruption. We feel the judiciary in this case and in many others is doing great damage to the rule of law by not following legislation passed by congress or state congresses and inserting their own views and in effect negating the efforts of our elected representatives and legislating from the bench.

Judge Whittemore (a Clinton appointee) has thumbed his nose at the President and at Congress. The judiciary is not above the law and it is time for the other two branches of government to reclaim their constitutional authority and defy the tyrants in black robes.

What better time to do it than to step in, tell the judges to go to hell and save the life of an innocent woman? Since when can state courts side with a defacto common law ex-husband (or would you prefer a common law bigamist?) and allow someone to be denied food or water until they are dead?

If I did the same thing to my dogs I would be arrested.


It used to be people would get a living will so if they were on life support people would know their wishes. If they didn't have a living will they would be kept alive indefinitely. When did that get turned on its head, now if you don't have one your spouse can have you snuffed out?


When did having food and water become being kept alive by extraordinary means? This might come as some surprise to the very young or the very old. It may have been a surprise to Christopher Reeves before he passed away.

Monday, March 21, 2005

The Ebb & Flow Institute Hires New Analyst

For Immediate Release

The Ebb & Flow Institute, a public policy research foundation dedicated to liberty, human dignity, limited government and maximum suckitude today announced the addition of The Onlette™ , to an already impressive team of analysts and research fellows.

The Onlette™, who will be available for a press conference after she has undergone an Institute orientation released the following statement......

I am so tickled to be joining the crew at the Institute I could just wet myself. Ever since I was born I have wanted to give something back to the humankind, and even though I have not met very many humankinds I still want to give something back. What better way to give back than by sucking?

"We have been pursuing The Onlette™ for months, but our busy schedules have made it difficult to arrive at a mutually acceptable agreement", stated Pile On® the resident of the John Locke Chair at the Ebb & Flow Institute. "We are very impressed with her, we understand she has been sucking for a living since moments after she was born. We normally do not offer guaranteed contracts, but we made an exception in the case of The Onlette™, this girl sucks like a bucket of ticks," Mr. On went on. "She is a little green compared to our other analysts, but she comes highly recommended and above all else we value suckitude here at the Institute, we expect great things from her", Mr. On continued going on.

Humyn Kind's Hero

Ashley Smith is not just the current hero of the week in the United States, she is also a Christian hero. This makes people tolerant of all viewpoints like Jill Porter uncomfortable. Dern her Christianity! Funny how Darwinism doesn't seem to be much influence when one is trying to talk down the predators of this world.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Mental Games

Memory and other mental games

Forget Me Not

There are five events in the U.S. Memory Championships. First, contestants are given 15 minutes to memorize 99 names and faces, and 20 minutes to recall them. Next, the contestants have to memorize an unpublished 50-line poem (this year titled, "The Tapestry of Me") in 15 minutes, followed by a series of random digits, a list of random words, and finally a shuffled deck of playing cards. The best memorizers in the world—who almost all hail from Europe—can memorize a pack of cards in less than a minute. A few have begun to approach the 30-second mark, considered the "four-minute mile of memory."

My own memory abilities extends far beyond remembering where I set down my last beer (now where did I set it), but I'm nowhere near this league. I consider myself to have a good memory as far as numbers are concerned. I can usually recall a pretty fair number of my colleagues phone numbers, and I usually remember a fair number if IP addresses on the machines I work with frequently.

While not exactly a memory puzzle, I do have a problem remembering the number of times the letter 'F' occurs in the passage below.

So read the phrase, count the number of F's, and report your results. This is not a race, but a self test, so report your initial count without viewing the results of others or using some software application to aid in the count. I will provide
my count later.


(Article discussed - Hat Tip : Slashdot)

Friday, March 18, 2005

Math Club Reject of the Week

An NBC station in the supposedly well educated state of Conneticut reports that two casinos suffered low slot machine revenues because of the snowy weather in February this year. They report:

The snowy weather has taken a bit of a toll on the slots revenue at the state's
two casinos.

Officials with Foxwoods Resort Casino said that the casino cleared $67 million from its slot machine customers in February while Mohegan Sun cleared $68 million.

The slot revenues at both were down compared with last year.

In February 2004, Mohegan Sun reported slot machine revenues of
nearly $69 million while Foxwoods reported revenue of $68.5 million.

The story doesn't say if the Casinos or the TV station came to this weather conclusion. Since casinos make money on an understanding of math (statistics in particular), let's hope for their stock holder's sake it was the TV station. Let's see how this math stuff works.

The Mohegan Casino in Conneticut, one of the few casinos that might not understand math.

Foxwoods' revenue dropped from $68.5 million (2004) to $67 million (2005), a drop of 2.2% for the month compared to last February. The February 2005 revenue per day ($67 million/28)comes out to $2.39 million.

At Mohegan, revenue dropped from $69 million (2004) to $68 million (2005), a drop of 1.4%. Also, revenue for February 2005 ($68 million/28) was $2.43 million per day.

Now, let's look at February 2004. The year 2004 was a leap year, which means February was 29 days long. February 2005 was 3.4% shorter than February 2004. In other words, a month that was 3.4% shorter resulted in revenue that was 2.2% and 1.4% less. Is that a bad thing?

Let's find out.

Revenue per day at Foxwoods was $2.36 million in 2004 and $2.39 million in 2005. Thus, at Foxwoods, revenue per day increased in 2005.

Revenue at Mohegan per day was $2.38 million in 2004 and $2.43 million in 2005. Thus, at Mohegan, revenue per day increased in 2005.

Yup, that global warming caused snow sure did do the casinos harm in February of 2005. I'm sure that the writers of this story were educated in government schools.

Other of the Week Awards

Other of the Week Awards

This week's Ally of the Week Award goes to Australia for keeping open the possibility of replacing the wussie Italian troops that are picking up their toys and heading home from Iraq. These Aussies have been very loyal to the U.S. in the war on terror, their prime minister was re-elected after refusing to waver in joining the U.S. in the War in Iraq, and they were the only other country, with Britain, to help with the actual Iraq invasion. I'm just real glad to have these blokes on our side.

This week's Purpose Driven Life Hero of the Week (:-D) goes to Ashley Smith. Nuff said.

This week's Rare Exceptions of the Week go to the intellectually honest Leftists who admit that Bush may have been on to something with his Middle East and WOT strategy. I know it is tough. Spicy brown mustard goes best with crow.

The Dumbass Quote of the Week goes to Washington Post Managing Editor Philip Bennett: "No, I don't think US should be the leader of the world." Well, Mr. Bennett, the world, like it or not, is going to have a leader or small group of leaders. I would prefer that the leader be my country. Who would you choose? China? Germany? Japan? Iran? Let's hear it dumbass. Who do you want to be the leader in the world?

This week's Father of the Week, Mr. Pile On.

Scumbag of the Week Award

As you know, the Ebb & Flow Institute has a number of awards that we give out "weekly," which means "when we feel like it." This week, I am awarding the Scumbag of the Week Award to John Jewell. About 4 years ago, Mr. Jewell was on the verge of dying of kidney failure. His wife of 33 years donated one of her kidneys to him. Then she got breast cancer. Then he left her for his mistress. The most shocking thing about all of this is that Mr. Jewell, Mrs. Jewell, and the new lover are all local politicians. It is Europe though.

Congratulations Mr. Jewell. May your family jewells fall off soon.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Purpose Driven Life?

Oh, that won't be necessary, I can drive myself.

We Got A Goodin'

The Onlette, born 8:25 pm, 3-16-05

19" and 8.0 lbs.

10 fingers.

10 piggies.

She needs a haircut, but she has chubby little cheeks and she looks quite a bit like her momma, in short she is cute as the dickens.

Mrs. On is a tiny little thing to be delivering that much baby. I don't have the words for how proud I am of her.

I am also quite tired.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Hit And Run Posting

Due to the anticipated arrival of the Onlette, I will try to do my part to keep The Ebb & Flow Institute, uh, flowing. So I will be doing some hit and run posting since I don't have large blocks of time to devote to extended discussion.

To keep the "hit and run" theme going, allow me to present Exhibit A for the prosecution:

Florida vanity plate reads: TIPSY. The charge: DUI of course. D'oh!

WTW--Gettin' Us A Youngin'

I ain't got no time for this here bloggin' right now. Me and Ma are fixin' to go to yonder hospital and get us a fresh youngin'. Ma has her heart set on one of them there hybrid girls. You know the ones, part what they call caucayshin Amurrican and part Asain. She says them is real purty, and real smart too, like that fancy talkin' Mishell Mallkins woman. Shoooooeeeeeyyy.

Well, gots ta be hittin the road, it is a long ride inta town.

Ya'll take care now yahere! I'ell get back to ya when I makes sure she has nine fangers and levven piggies.

Ma and Pa On.


Shut yer meat trap go a callin' at these here neighbors, theys purty good folks if'n ya don't be mindin' the smell.

basil's blog Cranky Neocon Cry Freedom Dangerous LogicFistful of Fortnights
Fragile Darkness Hector Vex's InfotainmentIt Is What It Is MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Rachael Ray ReduxRiehl World View Six Meat Buffet The Ebb & Flow Institute
The Jawa ReportThe LLama Butchers Toner Mishap Vince Aut Morire

Monday, March 14, 2005

An Alarming Threat To Life As We Know It

Frequent visitors to the Ebb & Flow Institute know that we are very skeptical of alarmists and their alarming messages of alarm. But, given a healthy skepticism we are aware that there are threats in this world to what we consider a healthy society.

Recently I was invited to attend the screening of a new documentary that has me concerned.....very concerned. There have been nerds and geeks since the beginning of human civilization. For the most part, they have never posed much of a threat to society. The recessive nerd gene has been closely linked to an intelligence gene, therefore many geeks actually contributed to society working as computer programmers or engineers.

Rarely have those who expressed the geek phenotype without also having the intelligence gene lived past adolescence. Today, in many first world countries this is no longer the case.

In short our prosperity, may in fact, be endangering our future. Nerds of low IQ, are now able to survive well into their reproductive years. This alone would pose a negligible danger, most non-geeks of normal intelligence have an instinctual aversion to mating with geeks, and the expression of the geek gene is rare enough that geeks mating with geeks has always been a rare occurrence in nature.

Modern chat-room technology is now making it possible for geeks to seek out other geeks over large geographic areas. And that dear friends is a problem. Not only can we expect a rise in the geek population but they have also shown the ability to use the skill of getting their groove on to democratic advantage.

Dealing with this gathering threat poses a moral dilemma for us at the Institute. The Nazis' tried to improve the gene pool using draconian measures, that we can not, and will not endorse. It was also folly. Because a recessive gene can be carried without being expressed it would take a thousand generations of controlled breeding to eliminate the geek genotype. Not a very comforting thought, now is it?

We feel that, like all modern problems, awareness is the best answer. All of us have the civic duty to be aware of what a low IQ geek is, how to identify them and to encourage them not to seek out what they call, their "soulmate".

Things to look out for.

1. Excessive mouthbreathing and the accompanying dependence on chapstick.
2. Carrying tater tots in the pockets of their pants.
3. Clumsiness and or jerky movements.
4. A strange gait, often with the upper body leaning forward, and arms extended to the rear when traveling at higher speeds.
5. Frequent use of words like gosh, idiot, bodaggit and killer.
6. Head down, eyes nearly closed and an almost sedated like behavior.
7. They have learned not to use nunchakus, but they may often bring them up in conversation.
8. Eating microwaved steaks while standing at the kitchen counter.

We are asking that all citizens be aware of geeks, we can no longer live in denial of this growing threat to our way of life.

Don't forget to order your geek awareness ribbon from the Institute gift shop

Don't Be A Fool -- Learn The Lingo

As any fool knows, the posse at the E&F runs with the 5% Nation. Surfing here is like riding the RTD, though you are less likely to be 187'ed, unless you a nucker. But just because you ain't yet a playa is no basis to be gully playa hater or take the 5th. So sit back, get your 64 and some 4-20 while you get your 411 here. No dead presidents necessary.

In other words, all people know that the fellows here at the Ebb & Flow Institute are part of the social and educated elite. Blogging here can be rough, tough and dangerous, like the bus in Compton, but you are not likely to be murdered, except intellectually. Nonetheless, just because you currently lack the knowledge to engage all of us with exceptional comments of wit and wisdom, you need not turn that lack of tallent into mean spirited envy, nor need you remain silent and not comment. Intead, sit back with the brew or other recreational drug of your choice while you get the information you need at this link. It is free.

Discussion Point

Computer language is based upon binary code.

DNA is based upon the repetition of four nucleotides.

If we are ever going to create artificial intelligence, perhaps we need to dispatch with binary and go with a quarternary code.

Discuss among yourselves.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Bourgeois Go For A Walk

It was such a nice day out the lovely bride and I decided to go out for a walk take in some art galleries.

I saw original work by Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol and this piece by Rene Magritte. In the same gallery as the aforementioned artists, there was a large section of work that I can only describe as children's doodling. Yes, doodling. Framed scraps of paper, with doodles, pictures cut from newspapers that had been doodled upon. Can you draw a square with an ink pen? Consider your self an artist.

The experience left me wanting.

But it was a beautiful day.

Here are links to some of my influences that I use to restore harmony to the universe.

Armand Cabrera

Tim Solliday

Robert Moore

Xiang Zhang

Bandwagon Marketing--Soldiers' Angels

It has come to my attention that Soldiers' Angels is being inundated and needs assistance as the third deployment of troops gets underway.

Now, in an attempt to persuade as many people as possible to help Soldiers' Angels I will use the tried and true method of bandwagon marketing. Did you know that Olympic Figure Skater Sasha Cohen is a supporter of Soldiers' Angels? Yes, it's true, not only has she been busy growing up, but she has been supporting our troops as well.

I can’t imagine the danger our soldiers face at home and all over the world. How would you feel if your mom or dad were ordered overseas and you didn’t know when they would return home?

Adopting a soldier is the best way I can say to our soldiers that I support you and I don’t take for granted your personal sacrifice to make my world safe.

Sasha Cohen

But she can't do it alone, so go check out all the things that Soldiers' Angels is doing to support our troops, it is very impressive.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog programming.

The Compelling State Interest In Ticket Prices


Some states are finally starting to loosen rules against scalping. This evil act involves someone who bought a ticket and attempts the dastardly capitalistic function of reselling it. Most people think of scalping as charging more than the face value for tickets, and in some cases that is true. When a ticket can be resold at greater than face value, that tells me (an evil livid terrier that majored in economics) that the original ticket price was too low. Not all states are just concerned about people who make a dollar on the scalping. Some places, like Lexington, Kentucky, even outlaw the selling of tickets for face value and below face value.

Lame Law Enforcement

Recently, Lexington police did a sting to catch people selling the hottest commodity in the Bluegrass State, University of Kentucky basketball tickets. People were arrested under state law and local ordinances. Their crime: selling UK basketball tickets. Some were scalping above face value, but some were people with extra tickets selling at or below face value.

The Lawsuit

One man from Paris, Kentucky (a city under attack at a fellow blog called Villainous Company) was an innocent victim of the Lexington Police sting. He has filed a lawsuit to have the city ordinace declared unconstitutional.

Based on the article, he is arguing on free speech grounds and search and seizure grounds. Kentucky's Bill of Rights is not identical to the U.S. one, so I don't know how that will go. Still, I would suggest this provision instead:

Kentucky Constitution
Section 2

Absolute and arbitrary power denied.
Absolute and arbitrary power over the lives, liberty and property of freemen exists nowhere in a republic, not even in the largest majority.

Text as Ratified on: August 3, 1891, and revised September 28, 1891.History: Not yet amended.

This nice provision is a pseudo-livid terrier provision right there in the Kentucky Constitution. The Kentucky Supreme Court used it in 1992 to strike down Kentucky's sodomy law. I can't imagine a more ridiculous law than one that prevents a person from selling his basketball tickets to me, someone who needs them.

By the way, I was at the SEC Tournament in the Georgia Dome yesterday. I bought my tickets from a University of Georgia fan. Over 95% of the fans in the Dome were UK fans. The other 11 teams should be embarrassed.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Prayers To The Judges and Their Families

For those of you who don't know, in addition to his duties as a senior fellow here at the Institute, KJ is also an attorney practicing in Atlanta. He has written a piece about the murders in an Atlanta courtroom today, as well as the killing of a Judge's family in Chicago.

I wouldn't bring it up if it weren't worth checking out.

Go here.

Friday Vespers At The Institute

Hello and welcome. It is once again Friday and time to enjoy a cold beer and put the worries of the week behind you.

I had hoped to introduce a new Institute employee to everyone by now, but she is late to report for duty.
It is hard to find good help these days. Rest assured when she does decide to grace us with her presence you all will be like the 13th or 14th to know.

Now that I have DSL I am going to reintroduce the virtual bartender. I recommend you order a beer and a pillow fight.

Don't forget to brush. And floss, one must always floss.

The first round of the Battle Of The Beers is now complete. Here at the Institute we are pulling for Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale and Arrogant Bastard Ale.

As many of you know I am a big picture guy, a man of vision if you will. Well, once again I have seen the future. When we are all old bloggers this is what it will be like. All I really want to know is if I need to take a sweater......I hate sweaters.........what time is it?...............huh?......speak the hell up........damn kids these days......

Is This Nature? If Only There Were A Sign.

Gas prices have spiked back up in the last few days.

The Democrats are calling for the ineffectual and meaningless act of releasing oil from the strategic petroleum reserve.

What to do, what to do.

What is this?
A garden spot where you would like to take your next vacation.
A delicate ecosystem flourishing with flora and fauna.
The moon.
The kind of place God intended us to drill for oil so as not to disturb anything worthwhile.
I don't know but it frightens me, let's nuke it.
Free polls from

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Getting Back To Nature

City of Houston Employee #1
You know that area just inside loop 610 next to West TC Jester Blvd?

City of Houston Employee #2
I guess so.

City of Houston Employee #1
It's a natural area.

City of Houston Employee #2
Why do you say that?

City of Houston Employee #1
Well, just look at it.

City of Houston Employee #2

City of Houston Employee #1

City of Houston Employee #2
It's too bad more people don't know about this.

City of Houston Employee #1
We could put up a sign.

City of Houston Employee #2
A sign?

City of Houston Employee #1
A sign.

City of Houston Employee #2
What a great idea. The city is lucky to have a public servant like you #1.

City of Houston Employee #1
Thanks. Just doing my job.....just doing my job.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Even The Man Was Shocked

As a long time defender of the Man and maintainer of the status quo, I am inclined to find for defendants in civil cases where others would cry and ask "how much did she ask for again?"

This week I realized that I may not be as tough as I thought.

In Atlanta, a woman sued a doctor who extracted her 5 month term miscarried baby. It seems that after he finished, he had forgotten something. Nothing important mind you -- just the baby's head. It dropped out a few days later while the patient was sitting on the john.

Now, I'm not saying I would award this lady lots of money. She wasn't injured except emotionally, and I am not inclined generally to put lots of zeros after those types of awards. But I would award her something -- probably with 4 zeros. But given the facts of this case, the jurisdiction and an outstanding attorney for the plaintiff, I expected to see at least a six figure award.

Well, a Fulton County, Georgia jury, typically a liberal jurisdiction for personal injury awards, saw it differently. They nutted this woman's claim.

Now, again, I'm open to the concept negligence not always existing just because a mistake is made. He argued that the procedure was difficult because of the women's scarred uterus (she had 3 prior abortions, not mentioned in the article I cited but discussed in others I have read). But I'm having a hard time understanding this. The baby's thigh or torso, sure. That flesh all looks the same. The doctor isn't a puzzle maker. But the head? That is a fairly distinct looking part of the body. Doesn't someone look around at the pieces and say, "OK, do we have two hands, two arms, two feet, and some larger fleshy parts? Great. Is that all? Oh, anyone seen a head?"

The Man refused to comment, but he was heard giggling over the outcome.

Things That Annoy Me--Volume I

That's great that you boast of your accomplishments right there on your car bumper.

I am sure you put a lot of thought and effort into where you were going to be born, I am so glad it all worked out for you.

Oh, and good job on those mountains, you must be so proud.

Evening Round Up

These little stories were running wild, so with the help of my trusted collie Bo, I rounded these up for your benefit.

Dennis the menace He Ain't

Boy, 14, caught shooting steel balls with slingshot at motorists. "He thought he was having fun is what he told us," Orlando police spokesman Rich Lane said. I thought "having fun" was a subjective concept. If he thought he was having fun, then by God he was having fun.

Office Body Language

Ever wondered how to get that annoying co-worker out of your office or cubicle? Don't have the balls to just say "GET LOST ANNOYING LOSER!!!!" No problem. Slacker Manager has your solution. Other office problems also discussed by the expert.

President's Speech at National Defense University

President Bush gives another rousing speech. The theme: I say what I mean and mean what I say.

Did Anyone Ask If She Was Teaching an S&M Class

A teacher strapped an autistic boy to his wheelchair and left him in a locked bathroom. Why is it that I never hear stories like this coming from our private schools?

Bare Breasts By Police Consent

Women at the Bike Week celebration at Daytona Beach will be allowed to go topless Sunday. And police will not arrest them, so long as they stay on a flatbed truck. Hopefully, that is all that is flat about that truck. Ms. Book, one such enthusiast, has said it is unfair that only men are allowed to go topless in public places and that women are fined for flashing their breasts at events like Bike Week. Just another example of the Man trying to keep a good woman down.

U.S. Cities Compete -- The Winners and the Losers

Depression And Happiness: Now we know why Pile On is always so cheerful. Three Texas cities were among the happiest. The most depressed? No surprises. Philadelphia tops that list, followed by Detroit, St. Louis and St. Petersburg and Tampa, Fla. Not one good college basketball team in the mix.

Homelessness Meanies: Once again Atlanta comes in second place. Oh, when will we be first!? Atlanta is deemed the second meanest city to the homeless, after Little Rock. Chin up, Atlanta. With a little hard work, you can knock Little Rock off its perch.

MoveOn.Org House Party -- Staying Involved in the Current Issues

Conscientious Objection- resisting the draft (2 registered
participants)[address omitted]New York, NY

This gathering will provide information about Conscientious Objection:
what it is, how to prepare a CO file, and how people of all ages can participate
in resisting the draft. If there is time at the end we can discuss other MoveOn
agenda issues, but the focus will be on the main topic. West Village, just south
of meatpacking district. Thursday, March 10, 07:00 PM

Resisting the Draft, eh? They are near the meat packing district. Next week they might read The Jungle and start working on food safety. Or maybe have a party on a women's suffrage amendment.

Rather Watch

Pile On addressed Mr. Rather. This headling was too good to pass up though: "After Rather Departs, 'News' Ready to Forge On"--headline, USA Today, March 7. I thought that was the problem.

Heaven Has All The Good Electricians

"Electrical Fault Blamed for Fire in Hell"--headline, New Zealand Herald, March 3, 2005.

Wisconsin Opens School For The Bullied and Harassed

In Milwaukee, Alliance School open its doors to those who feel bullied and harassed. I can't help wondering. A 90 IQ looks like a genius in a room full of 70 IQs. Does the top of the heap of the bullied become the new bullies in the Alliance School?

There. All rounded up.

A Rather WTW

In honor of Dan Rather's last day on the job, I have taken this article and Rather pimped it up some.

Liberal Groups Keeping Close Eye on Dean

A year ago, in a situation that would give an aspirin a headache an activist group from the Seattle area gave Howard Dean a thin, golden statue of a backbone. The Oscar-like award honored the former Democratic presidential candidate and Vermont governor for standing up against the Iraq war and other Bush administration policies. Keep in mind they were teetotally meetmortally convinced they had found their savior in Dean.

Now, as Dean has swept into his new role as head of the Democratic Party, like a tornado through a trailer park, that golden spine has come to represent, for many liberal Democrats, Dean's potential to develop a tougher, take-no-prisoners attitude among the party faithful.

"There's no gut-check required for Dean. Dean just needs to be Dean," said Dal LaMagna, founder of the Progressive Government Institute. "He's the kind of person who's a collaborator, a facilitator, a collaborfacilitatertater. He's not someone who has a clique or who will only talk to people in his clique. He's going to find that people will hang on him like a coat rack".

In an e-mail sent to supporters Thursday, Dean said he has gotten an overwhelming response from "grass-roots Democrats" offering input on the party's agenda. When it comes to running a party like this, Dean is a long distance runner and an all-day hunter, he's a ding-dong, knock-down go-getter.

"So many Democrats can't wait to get started. They want to grow our party from the ground up. And that's exactly what we're going to do," Dean said. It doesn't matter if you're a Democrat, Republican or a mug wamp, for a metro-sexual Dean plays it straight.

Bill Moyer, executive director of the Backbone Campaign, said he hopes Dean will continue to be a leader among liberal Democrats and that his chairmanship will mark a turning point for the party. "Frankly we don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon" he said.

"Dean is the link to this progressive movement," Moyer said. "The Democratic Party can either use that or squander it. I am not saying it will be easy, no, it's about as complicated as a wiring diagram to some dynamo."

The latest recipient of the golden backbone was Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones of Ohio, who challenged Ohio's electoral college results from last November's election which was tight like a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach, forcing a rare debate in the House and Senate.

"There are some that worry that he will move the party too far to the left, but I'm not worried about that," she said. "I think he will give definition to the party and allow Democrats to define the party instead of allowing Republicans to define us." Many consider this a proposition that is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O. To that Rep Tubbs says turn the lights down, the party just got wilder.

Another golden spine recipient, Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, said the Democratic Party's problem is that it needs to stop talking in generalities and start articulating its message, two hands worth of white knuckle is still hanging ten: "I don't know why the Democratic Party even exists if it can't advocate for universal health care and ending the war in Iraq."

Jodie Evans, a founder of the women's peace group Code Pink, poses the question that is hotter than the Devil's anvil when she said she's watching to see if Dean maintains his grass-roots connection or becomes part of the Democratic establishment in Washington. "He had the courage to step into a position where he can break the Democratic Party out of its stagnation," she said. "Does he have the leadership capacity to do that?" One's reminded of that old saying, 'Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek.

It's this balancing act between pleasing the more liberal parts of the party while also appealing to middle-of-the-road voters that will be Dean's biggest challenge, and his margin for error is as thin as turnip soup said Charles Franklin, a political scientist from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Are the Democrats going to dance the electoral macarena? Is Dean up to the job, or will the Republicans beat him like a rented mule. Folks, let me point out something to you, because for a lot of people in Washington, they could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping through on the back of a hippopotamus.

Well, you know the old saying, 'cold talons, warm heart.'

That's all, folks.


How much would you pay for this post?????

But wait, there is more, see these other WTW proprietors.

basil's blog Cranky Neocon Cry Freedom Dangerous Logic
Fistful of Fortnights Fragile Darkness Hector Vex's Infotainment
It Is What It Is MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Rachael Ray Redux
Riehl World View Six Meat Buffet The Ebb & Flow Institute The Jawa Report
The LLama Butchers Toner Mishap Vince Aut Morire

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

EFI Evening News with Your Host Pile On®

Bush Picks Uber-Diplomat For UN Ambassador

John R. Bolton, the President's choice for UN Ambassador is well known for his diplomatic skills. He is noted for once having said, "it wouldn't matter if 10 stories of the world body's headquarters simply vanished". He has also said "the United States is the world's only real authority".

He holds the nuanced position that the UN's human rights monitor is a rogue bureaucrat whose conduct "is a threat that we ignore at our own risk."

Senate Democrats have stated that they were hoping for a nominee that would speak frankly and define the US position in plain language, they are now gathering and arsenal of nuanced diplo-speak that will likely lead to contentious confirmation hearings.


King Tut Did Not Die A Violent Death

Nor did he die from an accident that crushed his chest.

But he did, nevertheless, die.


White House Admits First Blogger To News Briefing

He writes the site Fishbowl DC, which I had not heard of.

No word yet on whether he has ever worked as a gay prostitute.


Coach Accused of Licking Player's Cuts

HALSEY, Ore. (AP) -- A state panel plans to investigate a high school football coach who acknowledged licking a bloody cut on the knee of one of his players.

The student whose knee was licked told police Reed had given team members a pep talk about a coach licking and healing injured players' wounds so they could get back in a game.

Reed, 34, who also teaches science, acknowledged the incident last year after the parent's complaint. The school district placed him on probation and required him to take a "bloodborne pathogens" course.

You would think a science teacher would know, that when you lick a persons bloody wound, not only are you licking that persons bloody wound, but you are also licking the bloody wound of every person whose bloody wound the person with the bloody wound has licked. And so on.


Counter-Recruiters Shadowing The Military

Rectal Headgear.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Blogging Page A-26

P.I.S.S.R.-When you gotta go, you gotta go.


Will it be open season for Cat hunting?

University of Wisconsin-Madison wildlife ecology professor Stanley Temple, who trapped more than 100 cats and analyzed their stomach contents during a four-year study, has estimated that between 7.8 million and 219 million birds are killed by rural cats in Wisconsin each year.

That is a pretty big spread in the number of birds killed. I think the ancient Romans could do better than that by looking at entrails.


Bono, Head of the World Bank?

"I am not going to review here all the candidates that are on the list. But I will attest to my admiration for Bono."


Justice Kennedy can not be allowed to vacation with these judges.

Mukhtar Mai was sentenced to gang rape because her brother was accused of having sex with a woman from a more prominent family. She went public. Under world scrutiny the men who carried out the sentence were themselves sentenced to death. Now those sentences have been overturned.

Paki women are pissed off.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

This Week With KJ

While Pile On was struggling with the pestilence, I am sure many of you were wondering why KJ was not picking up the blogging and commenting slack. It is a fair question. I have been quite busy lately, even with my new brain's help. On Tuesday, I flew Delta to Salt Lake City, Utah. This was a surprisingly little city. It had a beautiful horizon on all sides. Mountains galore.

I had heard that a strange cult controlled much of the culture in the area. I saw several signs of this. First, there was a strange propensity to friendliness that surpassed even the generally superior culture and friendliness of the southeastern United States. Even though the people I was running into were largely in the service industry, they were extremely friendly even for that crowd. They all acted like the Aunt that wants to feed you right after you ate at Grandma's.

Second, I was forced to part with personal financial funds ($2) to join some private club for 90 days before a restaurant would serve me a fine Kentucky bourbon. This strange, certainly anti-Christian behavior made my spine shiver. Of course, I wanted the bourbon, so pray that I do not die in the next 90 days while my soul belongs to this strange cult.

You are probably wondering if I saw some of the sites, like the great skiing mountains, the Mormon Tabernacle choir, the Mormon Temple, or the University of Utah Utes Football stadium. Well, yes, I did drive past the football stadium 6 times in 3 days as it was between my sleeping hotel and my deposition taking hotel. Other than that, I didn't see much except the airport and the top of the moutains in the distance.

After returning to more familiar surroundings, I spent Saturday night getting down with lots of extremely white people at the James McMurtry concert. The man writes great songs, though his web site only anti-Bush song "We Can't Make It Here" was a real mood buster in the middle of the show. I got over though (I did suggest he play that song with a violin instead of a guitar).

With only about 150 people at the bar room "concert" it was cool to stand within 5 feet of the man for most of the show. I then ripped a concert poster off the wall and had McMurtry and his entire band sign it after the show. You don't get that kind of access at the arena shows. Of course, those people have lots more fans and cost more than $15 per ticket.

Well, I'm back in town, and my schedule is a little more normal for the next 10 days or so. I will try not to be a stranger, but don't expect that sicky nice SLC, Utah attitude, either.

The Future Of Beer, Medicine And Gas Grills

My recent battle with the pestilence got me thinking that there must be a better way to deal with illness than medical science currently offers. Then it hit me, Echinacea Ale.

The immune system building power of echinacea combined with the natural goodness of a craft ale. It is well known that a person needs to increase their fluid intake if they are getting ill so this is the perfect delivery system for the echinacea. Plus a fairly high alcohol content would minimize cold and flu symptoms while helping you get a good nights sleep.

Pile On® original oil on canvas, 16" x 20" entitled, "Men of vision sometimes
gaze into the distance and see the future of beer"

I also have a great idea to improve the future of gas grills. If anybody knows a good patent lawyer/marketing firm that would like to make a handsome profit while I get filthy stinking rich, please let me know.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Your Mission For Today

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to go check this out.

Then report back, I want to see if others have the same reaction I did.

I believe the Good Lord intended a more noble use for beer.


Friday, March 04, 2005

Friday Vespers At The Institute

Hello and welcome to Friday vespers here at the Institute. It is time to let the worries of the week slip away and have a beer. As you know I have been under close medical supervision for the last couple of days, but I think I can talk my nurse into letting my have a beer or three.

Looks good doesn't it? Nice foamy head, excellent clarity and a beautiful bronze color.

No no, over here on the left.

I am going to let others do the work for me today, a man has to know his limitations.

Ward Churchill does not speak for all Indians, some actually love their country and will fight for it. Links and commentary at American Dinosaur .


Dan @ Riehl World View is all fired up. I don't know who pulled his string, but the gentleman can rant when he has a mind to.


John from WuzzaDem is having a conversation with the MSN search engine. Yes, not only does it sound strange, it is strange. But it goes nicely with a beer and a shot of Nyquil. Enjoy.



Pooke left this link in the comments a couple thread down, and it is just too good to not bring it to everybody's attention. Here is a teaser.....

Potted Meat Food Product

There aren't too many products that feel the need to reassure you that they are, in fact, "food." Already not a good sign.

The list of ingredients is long and horrifying, coming right out of the gate with "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN." Oddly enough, I'm about to be separated from my lunch, and I haven't even opened the can yet.

It just gets better, go check it out here.